Consumed

What a day

"....Half a blue sky, kinda there but not quite, I'm walking around with just one shoe... I'm half a heart without you..."

I woke up cuddled into his chest, warm. To warm. His light snores could barley be heard of the fan. The French doors were cracked letting cold air in, I lifted my head from his chest to feel it. It felt really nice.

I slipped out of bed, and made my way towards the doors. I slipped out, the drapes from the porch fluttered in the wind. The chilled October air blew my hair that was sticking to my neck and face, back. I sat down in one of the chairs, I had a lot to think about. It made it much easier with Chaz asleep and both throwing tantrums. My head pounded from last night, I didn't mind... The cold air helped.

What was I going to do? What if Chaz was addicted to some crazy drug? Or if he's done bad things like those people have? I never looked at Chaz as a bad person, I still don't. And I feel if he told me the dark things he has done, I would still look at him as an angel sent from above... My angel, my heaven. I loved Chaz, and I was scared I would never leave him, no matter the crime he has done.

I sat in silence for a while longer. I heard the door creek open. He walked out, with his sweat pants and boxers hung dangerously low on his hips, showing of his structured back and stomach. God. He didn't look at me, he walked to the windows of the deck and let the cool air hit him. He was probably just as sweaty as I was.

I got up and inched my way towards him, cautiously... I didn't know his mood yet. When I was less then a foot away I leaned into his back, placing my hand on his shoulder, gently rubbing his back. I kissed his shoulder. He turned around and held me. Lose to him, kissing the top of my head.

"We need to talk." I simply stated, into his neck. He let out a long sigh. And kissers my head again, lingering there for a bit.

"I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"So he doesn't do that kind of stuff?" Niall asked, I drove him to one of his sessions, and now we were just walking around out side the building. I was pushing Niall's wheelchair, he was holding on to the building while strengthening his legs. He looked like he was getting much better, he could go long periods of time without having to sit down. I could see the muscle in his legs building up slowly. The more he walked and practiced, the stronger he got.

I totally forgot about his question, dozing off into my day dreams. Niall snapped his fingers in front of me. I puffed, I hated when he did that to me, I felt like a dog. I took another second to rethink over his question.

" no.. He promised me he didn't do anything like that... Only weed. He said he had done some pretty bad stuff in the past... Like pills and acid... But he has been done for awhile now." I drifted off again, my mind was in other places this morning.

Niall noticed, and kept walking, steading himself. "Your tall Lux." He finally broke my state from a far off pine tree that had two birds playing tag on the branches. I looked down at my boots.

"Well I do have boots on Niall, that's 4 extra inches on you, and besides... Your like 5'8 your not the tallest bud." I laughed, were did this come from. He just huffed and kept moving. What? I giggled, what was up today?

We kept waking, and this time I broke the ice.
"I think I want a job..." I trailed off. I've been thinking of getting a job, I don't need one, just something I want.

Niall laughed at me, and shook his head. He kept limping on. I stopped, and put my hand to my chest like I was offended. "What? Because I don't need a job you don't think j can handle one? That my Nails are gonna break? Or my feet will get sore?" I scoffed. It was all a joke and he knew that. He played along.