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It wasn't necessary, but I wanted to try...My mind battles against the madness that brought me here. I huff, the blast of warm air from my lungs clouds like fire from a dragon. But my brain is too busy to be amused. Hiring a guide was easy, paying for the flights was easy, everything about this trek up Everest was easy, except for actually doing it.
The snow clings to the bottom of my boot. My muscles protest, each step adds more weight. Slowly I lift my foot higher over the snow bank. The snow compresses, grabbing my boot like little white gremlins hanging on for a free ride up the mountain.
Steven's back disappears in front of me, a flurry of white erases all visibility. Through thick gloves I clench as hard as I can to the strand of red rope tied around my waist–the only thing that links our band of explorers together.
When Steven told me his climbing group was going to Nepal, I didn't think much of it. I was a good climber but I only thought of Nepal as cold. And oh yeah, it also has a tall mountain.
"Not just any mountain! THE tallest mountain in the world!" He shouted in the restaurant, drawing the attention of the refined couples seated around us. He didn't notice. "I thought if any of us had a chance of reaching the top, it would be you, Sev."
Several late night phone calls and two months later I was blushing at rigorous TSA checkpoints all the way to the base of Mt. Everest.
Standing beneath it's height I wasn't afraid. Part of me thought I was dreaming. Surely, there must be a God, to create something so beautiful in this world.
We reached the first camp with a slim smile branded across our faces. But by the third day, every smile was replaced by stern determination to live.
That day alone we crossed over the bodies of seven fallen climbers, each abandoned where they fell. Too far to rescue, too far to save themselves.
Now, the wind and snow bite at any flesh that dares to expose itself. My cheeks blister and peel, but I lost feeling in them a long time ago.
A glove pushes down on my shoulder. "Sev! Are you okay?!" Erin shouts in my ear over the roar of the blizzard. Snow continues to fall meters at a time.
I'm not okay. I can't take another step. I've burned through my muscles, my fat, my fuel. I have nothing left that can move me forward. Will I become another body decaying on the side of the mountain forever?
The rope snaps tight in front of us.
"Stephen?!" I shout. Adrenaline surges with my voice. My body trudges forward, but the rope stays tight. How far could he have gone? I pull my balaclava mask to my chin and yell his name against the cry of the storm. Yell again. Yell Louder. I push faster, harder through the never ending snow.
A faint cry whispers through the hood of my parka. Was it the wind?
I march straight, focused on the slight dent his body made in the snow, flinging my arms violently from side to side. Anything to gain enough momentum to move.
"Stop!" someone shouts. I stop just in time to notice the snow falling off in chunks at the edge of my toes. My mind can't grasp what my eyes tell me. The red rope dives through the ground?
"No..." escapes my lips, not loud enough for anyone but God to hear. A bright orange bundle swings like a pendulum below me. All hope drops as it all makes sense now.
