Phan is Love, Phan is Life [Shrek Parody]

2

>be me like 14

>Read the skin fic on tumblr

>I've read the skin fic 452 times

>So good I need to read the hat fic for the 384th time

>Mum says its bath time

>Take phone into bathroom so I can touch myself to phan

>After the hamster drowns in the cum my sister walks in and yells at me for taking too long in the bath

>Tells me I read that disgusting fanfic too much

>Knocks phone into water

>Only working link to the hat fic is lost

>Craft tears of raw sorrow and prey to Dan and Phil

>Suddenly bottle of bubble bath floats to the surface

>Cherry scented bubblebath

>Dump red contents into tub

>The stench of cherry immediately gets my pusspuss wet

>Masturbate furiously into the now red water and bubble

>Cum

>"WHAT KIND OF BLOODY PEASANT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR"

>Dan emerges from the water naked pulling Phil up with him

>Enraged Phil breaks out of bathroom

>Goes to sister's room where she's watching Nash Grier

>Phil is enraged by homophobic infidels

>"I'LL SHOW YOU DISGUSTING"

>Phil's arm-sized cock jumps to an erect attention

>Plows my sister's anus until his dick comes out of her mouth

>Withdraws cock and fills hole left with hamsters

>Dan burns down my house with cherries

>I'm left in the red bubblebath as my house burns

>I ask Dan "... is it homo?"

>"ITS NOT HOMO, ITS NEVER HOMO"

>I present my anus submissively to Dan

>He pushes hamsters into my anus just like in the fic

>Fucks my hamsterhole good until he pulls out

>Fills the entire bathtub with his cherry flavoured semen

>I sink back into the tub

>Baptize myself in the cum

>Emerge as a new homo

>"NOW IT DOESN'T EVER HAVE TO BE HOMO"

>Dan and Phil take my hands

>We fly into the sky as fangirl and homos

>Phan is love, Phan is life