This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands on, on my body and told me
You told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I'd be your last love everlasting you and me
That was what you told me.
- Tavia doesn't want anyth...
Jade Parrish (In MM) >This chapter is in Jade's POV<
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I guess during this whole process, I skip this part because I have no fucking idea what love is. To me love is not a commitment , It's something that comes and goes that's why I don't believe people who say they have found their soulmates because they haven't talked to every single person on this planet. In this life, I don't want to feel what love is or who it's with.
I couldn't stand this fuckin school starting with the people. Half of the population saw me as a threat but I couldn't blame 'em. If I saw someone that looked good as me too, I'd be pissed. Sadly, ladies and gentlemen Jade Parrish does not give a fuck about your feelings or your opinions. It's been 2 months since I left Monroe, I needed the time off to find out about myself after my brother's death. Every thing just died that day and so did some parts of me that'll never get back. I was nothing without Cole, the only nigga I trusted. His murderer will never get away wid it as long as I live.
"Look who crawled back out from the underworld." One short girl made a smart remark as I walked down the hall.
"I was hoping you died bitch" A girl bumped past me. I am praying that god gives me the strength not to kill one of these girls today. Breathe. Many other snarky comments were made, I stopped in the middle for a while and walked to the top of the stairs.
"CAN I GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION REAL QUICK!" I shouted resulting in every one turning their heads toward me.
"YES, I AM BACK AND STILL THE SAME BITCH YOU ALL LOVE AND HATE. THE THING IS I'M STILL SLEEPING AT NIGHT SO IF YALL HOES THINKIN YOU BOTHERIN ME, BITCH TRY AGAIN! Have a lovely day" I shifted to the side and saw the looks on their faces. I felt a smirk come across my face. I looked to the side and saw Tavia and her friend who's name I couldn't recall, I smiled at her and she noticed me and rolled her eyes and walked off. I loved how I got under her skin without even trying.
I circled around the school for a while before I found my locker but forgot the combination. I stood there for a moment thinking until it came to me. I had nothing to do but put my books in there and find my schedule. I don't know why I intimidate some of these people, I didn't do anything wrong but be myself. Thinking about it now, I am a bitch.
"Christian!" I grabbed his arm as he walked straight pass me and pulled him close. "I'm back!" I smiled. He didn't seem happy and wasn't paying attention to anything I was saying. He looked in a different direction with his headphone in. "What's wrong?" I asked turning his head to face me.
He shook his head and looked down.
"Come on. What I do this time?" I began losing patience. It took him a while to look back up at me. "You left. And you ain't even tell me. Two months. No phone calls. No texts. Nothing. And now that your back we supposed to be close again." He put his headphones back in his ear. "I'm sorry. I was going through stuff." I took the headphones out of his ear. "Yeah. I'll catch you later." he walked away and didn't even look back.
I felt ashamed for the moment because a couple people saw that whole scene. It wasn't like me and Christian were on dating levels, just hookups and sometimes I have to stop myself before I fall to deep for him. Like this nigga, got hoes everywhere and I end up realizing every time that I'm one of his. We hookup and he goes with another and so do I. Somehow we were the imperfect fit.
________________________
All eyes were on me when I walked into the classroom. Then, the whispers started. I was ready to pop off on anybody that had some shit to say.
"Parrish! Sit down right here" Mr. Holland said. Will Holland. I remember the days he started hitting on me. Sophomore year. I guess he thought that it was okay and so did I. We hit it off a couple times over the summer when my grandma went on her annual trips. I felt as if I needed an older wiser person that didn't play around like these kindergartners here now. At the end of the day, It wasn't worth it and I was fucked up as ever.
I gave him a seductive look to mock him and sat down where he pointed.
I was completely lost half off the time in the class. I had no friends to ask for help or work with. Sometimes, being that bitch isn't really all that fun because during the time for need I had nobody and the one person I had was ripped out of my life leaving me cold. I reached out my phone and started going through my dms.
7 New Chats!
I opened one of them and clicked on the persons profile, a tall boy who I've seen around the halls sometimes came up.
From Yungnqqauh_ : U wanna be my sex doll this weeknd. 💦 Me : don't fucking text me bitch. From Yungnqqauh_ : I know how u like it. We can do it after school at my place.😈 Me : you got me fucked up if u think that's happening. Who df gave you my ig? From Yungnqqauh _ : Alright then hoe. I guess you tired of being on your knees. And I got it from @mhhoes on IG. 🔪
I blocked him and went to my search page. I typed in the username and a page popped up with 2k followers and the profile pic was a girl that I've seen around the school. The account was filled with girls from Monroe and the first girl was me. A tear fell as I scrolled through the comments.
@babygalmeemi hoes like her neva gon be shit. dumb ass thot. ✔️ @jaceon.papii thot .😂😂😂 @playya_carloss Ion fuck with hoes. She cute af tho.👌🏻❤️
There were plenty more worse then that but I couldn't continue because my head started spinning. I grabbed my bags and stormed out the class and into the hall. I ran into the wall for a moment until I gained conscious a little and made my way to the bathroom.
I stared at myself in the mirror and started crying. I took 2 pills out of my bag and popped them into my mouth. A girl walked in and saw me, she was scared when she saw my face and went inside the stall. I washed my hands and wiped my face but I couldn't stop crying. The girl walked out and stood in the corner.
"You okay?" her soft voice said.
I lifted my head and wiped my face. "I am" . I just had something in my eyes. " I smiled and walked out to the hall. I sat down in front of my locker and put my head down.
At this moment, my life started flashing past me again, I wasn't going to let it and I wasn't going to let this thing get a hold of me. I'm too pretty to cry. Sometimes, I convince myself to believe that I'm living this life that's perfect and that's the only reason why I'm still on my two feet. My brothers death was one thing and the niggas who killed him ain't gonna see me down because I'm living his legacy and if these people want to try me I'm ready to let them because I know exactly why I came back to Monroe and I ain't resting until I get what I came for.
