Rudderless (Urban)

Chapter 10

Jade

I woke up to the sun beaming through the window. I forgot what happened last night and how I ended up in his room and in bed. I lifted the covers to see if I still had my clothes on. I stared at the ceiling and tried to remember what happened last night all I could see was the look in his eyes. I didn't know if he was scared or disappointed during that point. I turned around and faced the large clear window that showed the good part of Chicago. I sat up quick when I heard the door creak open. It was him. He was a tall, muscular Italian man. He had a long dark stubble and wore a baby blue dress shirt with slim trousers. He was a very handsome man and resembled my brother, Cole.

"Your awake." He smiled.

I nodded. "Where'd you sleep?" I asked.

"On the couch" He said and sat on the side of the bed.

"I could've slept ther—"

"That wouldn't have been a choice." He interrupted. There was silence between us while he put on his shoes. I didn't know what to say. I mean, what do you say to a guy you haven't seen your entire life. I was pretty sure he was thinking of something to say too.

"How... I ... How did you find me?" His deep voice let out calmly.

"Social workers, Child and Family services" I answered. He nodded.

"Your mother didn't tell you?" He asked. I furrowed my brows.

"She left me with my grandma when I was in 7th grade" I started thinking about the time when I came home from school and I asked my grandmother where she was and she told me that my mama had to leave and that she'll be back. Both my parents left me, I only had Cole and grams. He seemed quite after I told him and probably felt ashamed.

"You both abandoned me and Cole. We were foster kids as far as we knew. We had no one in our lives but our grandma. You left when I was 3 years old. It's been 15 years, dad." I tried to be calm and not start yelling. All the anger that had built up in me for the years had come to this one moment and I was trying not to let it out.

"I know. I had my reasons." He kept his head down and spoke so calm. I got up from the bed and stood next to the large window out looking the city.

"Your reasons don't mean shit! There's no reason for why you should abandon your family and live a whole new life! Forgetting we even exist." I started semi-yelling at him and felt the anger filling my head and voice.

"I know you're mad. Remember who your talking to, I'm still your father. I had my reasons, I had my reasons for leaving." He said.

"FATHER!? LAST TIME I CHECKED I DIDN'T HAVE A FATHER! MY ONLY FATHER LEFT AND ACTED LIKE A FUCKING COWARD! HE AIN'T GIVE NO FUCK ABOUT ME!" He jumped up and I saw that he was angry to, I wasn't sure if it was with me or himself.

"I WAS SCARED! I was worried that I couldn't protect you guys and that all I would ever do to support my family was sell drugs. " His tone changed towards the end and he grabbed my hands, I didn't have the urge to resist.

"So you gave up on us. You gave up on me." I said. He looked at me with sincere and I saw the mistakes in his eyes, "I'm sorry" He said calmly still having a soft grip on my hands.

"A little too late for that now, huh" I mumbled. He looked at me which indicated that he had heard what I had said. "It's not too late. I can be there for you and Cole." He assured. I pulled my hand from my his grip and looked at him. I could feel the river of tears on my face.

"Me and Cole? It's a little too late for that. Cole died." I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth without tasting the salty tears but, he heard me and I saw his eyes getting watery and his mouth start to quiver.