Rudderless (Urban)

Chapter 20

/thanksforbeingpatient/

   Tavia

After I had went home, I couldn't get my mind off the situation. I had called Caleb's phone countless times and left many voicemail messages and I would get no answer. I had turned into the person I never thought I would be and it wasn't a miraculous feeling or discovery. The world around me wasn't changing, I was. That night I locked myself in my room and felt sappy as fuck, I was hurting the people around me and the only one that understood me. I lost count of the many times I cried before falling asleep.

I spent the next day, masking my emotions whenever I came out of my room which was only two times out of the entire day. I had to make up an excuse for my morbid family to leave me alone. And that was my day. Filled with sad looping music and tears. How would I survive Monday?

"Tavia?" My mother popped her head in my bedroom and let me know that she was leaving early for work and would get off late tonight, I growled an "Okay" and she walked out. I didn't want to leave that bed and just wanted to drown myself in my tears and surround myself in soft tissues.

I somehow ended up dosing off while thinking about how I was going to survive the day. Dragging myself out of the bed and letting my feet touch the cold carpet, I headed for the bathroom. Even with the warm water hitting my skin, I couldn't help but to feel cold and dead inside. At this point, I didn't bother trying anymore. I had threw on an old shirt and put a black hoodie over it, I stared at my reflection before walking out the room. Broken. Just the way it was meant to be.

Marie sat at the counter enjoying a bowl of cereal and checking her phone every now and then.

"Tavia?" She raised her head from staring at her phone. I turned to her without a word.

"Are you okay? You look like you just died in your room." She said with an almost worried expression.

I tried to force the most believable smile I could've, "I'm good."

"Then, why don't you go back upstairs and do something about this look?" She pointed to my messy ponytail and unflattering attire.

"I'm good. Besides, we're gonna be late if we don't get going."

"Okay" She said before I headed for the door. "Tavia?"

I stopped before turning the knob and stuck my head back in.

"I'm your sister, You're not okay and I know that but whatever you're going through you obviously believe that you have it in control and I'm going to trust you. Just don't shut me out." She stated.

I didn't say anything and slowly walked out and heard her follow as we made our way to school.

The hallways were full with more students then usual. I slowly made my way to my locker and realized that I had separated from Marie since we stepped in through the doors. I looked around before opening my locker and just standing there.

"Tavia! What the fuck!?" I turned around fast and saw Olivia speed walking towards me with an angry expression on her face.

"How could you?" She said as she got closer. I began to wonder if she had found out what had happened with me and Caleb or if he had told her.

"You promised that you would help me with my mom's wedding and bitch you just bailed. I've been calling and texting you since Saturday!" She exclaimed. I reached for my phone and noticed that it had been dead since Saturday.

"I know," I said in a low voice. "There's no excuse for that. I'm sorry and I know that's not even enough." I explained.

"Bitch, I'm still mad at you. What the fuck is going on with you today?" She asked in regards to my look.

"I don't want to talk about it." I stated.

"Well, you had Saturday and Sunday to not want to talk about it while you ignored me. So speak." She argued.

I hesitated as the tears began to form in my eyes, "Caleb saw me with Christian and freaked out and know I think he hates me."

"Is that why you blew me off? To hang with Christian? What was yall doing anyway?" She asked.

"Nothing. Caleb just misread the whole situation. It was my fault. I let Christian get into my head and now it cost me the person that I cared so much about." I answered as a tear fell on my cheek.

"Tavia," She pulled me into a hug. " I understand but, I don't blame Caleb either. You guys just have to talk about this."

"No, I can't face him." I said.

"Well, If you want this to be solved, you're gonna have to. I wonder where he at anyway?"

"Y'all ain't hear?" Kiana said as she stopped in front of my locker.

"Hear what?" Olivia replied.

"Caleb got arrested." I furrowed my brows and started thinking about all the things that could have happened since Caleb was really angry when he had left. Did he hurt Christian? Gang activities? My heart began racing real hard as if it would burst.

"What he do!?" I let the words escape.

"I don't know. Brian had seen the cops take him and some folks in on Saturday." Kiana disclosed.

"Saturday?" I said. She slowly nodded. I can't believe that he's been in jail since Saturday and I didn't know. I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything else but think about this whole situation for the day.

"I have to go see him now. I know I said I couldn't face him but this could be my fault, Olivia." I cried placing everything inside my locker before closing it and heading for the front door.

"Tavia, this isn't smart. I understand you're worried but, he's a big boy and you just can't leave like that." She tried to convince me as I was walking.

"I'm sorry but I have to." I declared. "Then, If I can't convince you, I'm coming with you."

The people in the halls got quieter and all stared at the front door as we approached. I was confused as to what was going on. Olivia grabbed my arm coming to a stop, "You can never keep the devil away, can you?" she said. I eventually understood what she was talking about when I noticed Jade stepping into the school. Everyone stared at her and whispers began filling the halls once again. She kept this vulnerable act up as she came forward and stopped right in front of me and Olivia.

"Leaving so soon?" A deceiving smile slowly formed on her face.

/VOTE-COMMENT-SHARE/