Moving On

Phase 1: Denial

"Love is like quicksand; once you're in it's difficult to get out."

C.B. Smith

     Justin asked me to meet up with him in the park where we celebrated our first anniversary, it's kinda rare of him to ask like this specially on a school night but I am guessing that this is just his random date-hangout or he's having a drama, or he just misses me. So I did came and meet him in jeans and sweater. Being in this place reminds me how weird and unique my boyfriend is, putting humor in every event in my life; like our first anniversary which we celebrated in Mexican style – while I gave him a new comics by his favorite creator he gave me a unicorn head, at that moment I couldn't help but laugh on the thought of how small his brain could be and how cute that he is still in touch with his childhood.

     A few people are in here tonight, some with a lover, a pair as friends, with a pony, circle of friends, and alone, as I look at them I see me – I got through all of this phases, I almost got alone when Justin and I fought; but in every relationship there's an obstacle to cross to strengthen your bonding and walls against all odds. Now Justin and I are going strong, we grew stronger every day in our mortal life – I can remember one moment when Justin and I was hanging out in here, a couple of months ago, a kid asked us if we believe in forever. As a living example of forever we agree in the answer of yes, then the kid asked why and so I told her the brief story about my now and forever Justin. She giggled and blush to my story, so forever do exist? She asked again for the last time, Justin answers: "of course, yesterday is forever, today is forever, and tomorrow is forever. That's our forever; as long as we stay together we have forever." With those words coming out from his mouth I couldn't help myself but fall in love with him more and more, the love that I could give him is limitless; uncountable same as the stars in the universe. In those moments I told myself that he is my future.

     Minutes pass without me noticing it for I am accompanied by the moments I am locked in given by this place, Justin came making the atmosphere on tension; he looks uneasy and nervous. "Hey," I took some steps to be close to him. "Give me a kiss," I told him as I pointed on my cheeks and so he did, but this one is full of tension not with care and saliva which is really unusual... something is wrong, I can feel it below my breasts. "What's wrong boo?" I am filling all my sweetness to my words to let the tension exist to nothingness. "Boo," he mumbled and swallowed. "Did you kill someone?" I cut him off before he could continue, "if you did, you know I love you so much, let's hide the body... I learned a lot from Scream Queens."

     "That's not it."

     "Thank goodness, I don't want to do that."

     "I need to tell you something really important," he stated. He pauses for awhile to get my attention and for him to gather and think through his thoughts, I knew him to well. "I don't know how to tell you this..." with those words my heart started to pump faster, nervousness filling my skin with sweat. "What is it?"

     "I loved you, I'm sorry. I'm breaking up with you," I'm breaking up with you, it kept on and on and on in replay in my head, and in my eyes tears are forming, this couldn't be; he loves me. And in those seconds I know that he loves me, this is just a joke, he made a promise that we'll stay together forever. And so I laugh at his face, this is just one of his pranks, but I saw confusion in his face. "You almost got me," I am thinking that he would scratch the back of his neck because I caught him in his act, but instead he put down his head and whispered: I'm sorry, but I am really breaking up with you. The words whispered in my ears too loud cracking my heart, I hug him immediately afraid of losing him.

     It's a quotation said by Jess Lair which I don't approve one hundred percent times infinity plus one: "if you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with," because it makes things complicated. If you truly love someone never let him go, fight every odds that come to you as an obstacle, maybe that person needs something to see that you truly, badly, madly are in love with him. Never let destiny do its crap in your relationship, if you love someone fight for him – he's not a pigeon that if you train and set him free one day, he'll come back to you.