♥The Guy I Hate Is The Guy I Love♥ (Editing)✔

♥Chapter 42: I don't like seeing you cry. . .♥

Sunday 26th February 2011

I lay in bed tossing and turning as sweat covered my body. The night. . .

"NO!" I screamed as I woke up, sitting on the bed. My heart beat was accelerating by the second. It looked like someone splashed water all over me.

"Poppy?" Dad rushed into the room and frantically made his way towards me with Rani following him.

"Daddy!" I cried as I sobbed into his chest.

Dad started to mutter things into my hair to calm me down and rocked me side to side as Rani squeezed my shoulder. "Did you dream about Marcus?" Rani asked as soon as I calmed down. I shook my head into his chest. He sighed as I heard him mutter something under his breath.

"What happened?" Matt groaned as he walked into my bedroom sleepily. Rani rolled his eyes at him. Opening his eyes properly he looked at me and instantly he rushed to my side. "You okay?" Breathing in and out I nodded slightly. Everyone just sat on my bed as they watched my reaction.

"Do you want to tell us what it was on?" Rani bit her lip nervously. I shook my head as I wrapped my arms around my knees which were against my chest, tighter than ever.

"Maybe you guys should go to sleep whilst I talk to Poppy," Matt suggested. Both Dad and Rani reluctantly made their way towards their room before kissing me on the forehead. Matt placed me on my lap whilst I bit my nails furiously.

Matt broke the silence. "You do know what biting your nails is disgusting right? But then again every inch of you is disgusting." I narrowed my eyes at him but couldn't stop my lips twitching into a small smile.

"C'mon man! Show me that lovely smile," Matt grinned, speaking in a Jamaican accent; terrible may I add. 

I giggled softly."That was the worst attempt at a Jamaican accent ever!"

Matt's arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me towards him so half my body was sitting on my lap. "What did you dream about this time," Matt whispered into my hair.

"Marcus. . ." I let my voice trail off. "I was dreaming of Marcus and me at his 16th birthday. . . "

Flashback

26th February 2010

"Good morning beautiful," Marcus grinned at me. We were in bed lying next to each other. Somehow we always slept side by side the night before his birthday. When we were younger Gabe, Marcus, Paige and I used to sleep next to each other on the 25th February.

"Morning Marc." I yawned tired as I rubbed my eyes. He gazed into my eyes as he tangled his fingers into my hair and leaned into a kiss and I followed. Our lips were inches apart but we both jumped when Paige burst into the room with a tired Gabe following her.

"Happy birthday Marcus," Paige grinned as he ran towards Marcus and kissed him nosily on the cheek with red vibrant red lipstick smudged all over her lips on purpose.

"Paige," Marcus groaned as he wiped off the lipstick chuckling.

"Get your lazy ass outta bed bro! We're 16!" Gabe shouted excited.

"We're 16!" Marcus screamed as the Cartwright brothers started jumping up and down on the bed whilst Paige and I laughed. 

End of flashback

"And then?" Matt urged me to continue. "I was reminded of you know. . ." My voice trailed off as fresh tears leaked from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," Matt whispered as he hugged me tighter.

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Eventually Matt went to sleep on my bed. I decided not to disturb him. I quickly text Gabe 'Happy Birthday' and heard my phone buzz next to me.

'Thanks Pops. Today's not the same. . .' He text back. I

I text him back saying 'I know' before going into the shower. After that refreshing shower I realized it was 4am. I decided to get dressed into a plain sky blue shirt and black chinos with golden brown brogues. To stop Matt from panicking and sending a search party for me, I placed an note and placed it in Matt's palm which rested on his chest. I kissed him on the cheek before running out of the house in the freezing cold.

The first thing I felt when I stepped outside was a tiny snowflake land on the tip of my nose. Shaking my head, I brushed the snowflake off and continued my journey to Highgate Hill.

Once I got there I saw Gabe gazing down as Emily looked at Gabe and squeezed his shoulder. Gabe was silently crying as Emily embraced him muttering phrases. I walked up to them and squeezed his shoulder, sending him a small smile.

"I can't believe it's our 17th birthday and he's not here physically to celebrate it," Gabe cried as Emily and I muttered in agreement.

After we visited Marcus we all went home to get ready for Gabe's party, not Marcus and Gabe's birthday party. Before I went I thought about how Marcus would get excited over the sight of cake, especially when it was made by me. He would dance his ass off all through the night and we would probably get drunk and have huge hangovers in the morning. Marcus would just laugh, grin and live like there is no tomorrow but he couldn’t do that now. . .

A tear rolled down my cheek. Quickly, using the back of my sleeve I wiped it. Not because I was ashamed to cry in front of Gabe and Emily but because I knew how Marcus felt when I was in pain. Seeing one little tear from me would kill him. After a few minutes Gabe and Emily finally left.

I did what I usually did. I sat there, on the grass and just stared at the graves of the people I loved and cherished most in the world. I always wondered what life would be like if I had both Mum and Marcus or one of them by my side. Would Matt be Mummy's boy? Would I have arguments with my mum? Would I be different? Would I have learnt to wear dresses and wear make up?

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Marcus' P.O.V.

The sight of a tear rolling down Poppy's face made my cringe slightly. I always hated it when Poppy cried as Poppy was strong, physically and emotionally and she only cried when she was hurting.

Sighing I prostrated my head began to think about IF I was alive, would my fate be any different?

What if I didn't risk my life for Poppy?

What if somehow both Poppy and I dodged that one bullet that changed . . . more like ended my life and changed Poppy's life?

"Whatcha thinking about," I heard a familiar voice ask me.

"Nothing much." I replied to Dawn.

"I've known you long enough to know that you are thinking about something. Perhaps Poppy . . ." Her voice trailed off.

I nodded. "It's just . . . its hurts to see her cry. I know how strong Poppy is and I know she's hurting real bad when she cries. It breaks my heart," I whispered the last part. She squeezed my shoulder and embraced me.

"I know how you feel love. What about me? Seeing my two beautiful children crying is absolutely heart breaking. It's something that no mother should see." She sent me a sad smile.

"I just want to see Poppy happy," I sobbed silently.

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If you guys are confused, Dawn is Poppy's mother!

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