Dash's Rant Book

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

Asher: Okay, this is my rant. *crosses his arms* And I'm just the slightest bit...how should I say this? Pissed off.

D: *looks at Asher* Why? *frowns*

Asher: You know why.

D: Is it me?

Asher: No. It's not you. But I was recently reading through one of D's books, and I said something about her appearance. I said, "she's hot" and one stupid person decided to say she isn't. How do you think that makes her feel? *growls*

D: *sighs* Asher, it's fine-

Asher: No! It's not fine! I don't understand why anyone has to say something so mean. *frowns* She never did anything to you. You've only heard descriptions of what she looks like.

D: Asher, it's fine, really. *smiles weakly* I know I'm not *uses air quotes* 'hot.' It doesn't matter.

Asher: Yes it does! Listen, you are the most beautiful human being to me. You are my everything. When my everything is hurt, that hurts me. And I don't deal well with hurt. I don't care if you don't look like every guy's dream girl. Maybe you're not the perfect 'blonde hair blue eyes' stereotype. *rolls his eyes* That's okay, because you're my dream girl. My everything. And I love the way you look and everything else about you. I adore you. Okay? I worship the ground you walk on.

D: *blushes* Really? *bites her lip*

Asher: *laughs* Really. I'll kiss the ground if you don't believe me simply because you stood on it.

D: *laughs* No, no. That's okay. You don't have to kiss the ground.

Asher: Aw really? *fake pouts* I was really looking forward to it. Why not?

D: Because I want you to kiss something else. *kisses him*

Asher: *smiles and kisses back*

D: *pulls away and grins*

Asher: ...I need to suggest kissing the ground more often.

D: *laughs and rolls her eyes* Whatever. *kisses him on the cheek*

Asher: So, please, respect my Sunshine. *growls* Or we will have a problem. *smiles innocently* Thanks for listening! Bye!