My Heaven On Earth

Chapter 1 - Time

Chapter 1

A/N Dedicated to Kentrelia! As promised :) Cool name btw. lol 

It’s dark, just the way I like it.

I think best in the dark. As cliche as that sounds...well, I just do. And even if my thoughts here aren’t exactly what you'd call "pretty",well...pretty thoughts were never meant for me anyway. 

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--Flashback--

“Janelle, you need to understand that your medicines are no longer effective for you.” Doc. said, putting his poker face on.

“I don’t understand. What are you trying to tell me?”

“What I’m trying to say is…we don’t know how long you have left.”

I blinked, taking in what he just said.

"Jannelle, it is quite certain that you won't have much longer to live." He repeated in a different way when I just sat there immobile.

“You’re kidding right?" I asked, desperately hoping that he was. I knew I was being irrational but how was I suppose to react?  

"Phil, tell me you’re kidding."  I demanded in a dead-panned voice. "Just pl-please tell me you’re kidding doc. I’ve done everything you told me. Everything. I quit the dancing squad just as you’ve suggested. I moved across the country to have the best treatment you could possibly offer me and now… you’re just giving up on me?” I said emotionally, on the brink of tears as memories of what I had to go through flashed across my mind.

I cannot believe what I’m hearing.

Is this it?

My hands started to tremble and I felt a tear roll down my face. I sniffled and quickly wiped it away, hoping in vain that he didn’t see that. I didn’t want him to think that I was weak.

“Jaye, honey.” Doctor Phillip said, calling me by my nick-name. He reached out for me but I pulled back.

He regained his posture and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew that this was hard for him as well. I’ve been his patient ever since I was just a few years old. It was during that time that I started wheezing uncontrollably to the point that I almost stopped breathing. They sent me to the hospital and after numerous check-ups, they found out that I had type 2 brittle asthma. The doctors assured my parents that it wasn’t near-fatal and could be controlled if medications are regularly taken.

Years passed and my asthma was getting better until…I joined the dancing squad. My parents were strongly against my decision but I didn’t want to live under so many limitations and I knew right then that only dancing can make me feel…normal. Alive. But life can be a real bitch sometimes. Just when I thought I’m at the peak of my life, I had to be pushed off the cliff.

On the day of my inter-school competition in junior year, I had an asthma attack in the middle of my performance and had to be rushed to the hospital. I could have died but I guess God decided to have pity on me and gave me one more shot at life. Both my parents were hysterical and decided to send me away to Alaska with my aunt. It was a coincidence that Doctor Phillip also decided to transfer to one of the hospitals there. I’ve been seeing him again ever since. They thought that it was the best option there is. I was going to go back after a year when my asthmas get less frequent.