So day two requires you to walk into school like you own the bitch with your new bff ( I regret saying 'bff' ) and swang your thang.
Or awkwardly walk in looking a mess with the girl you met on omeggle hesitantly eating a banana.
But the second one gives the best results no question.( that may be what I did ).
So to catch you up, Alexa threw away the banana after accidentally making eye contact with her crush while taking a huge bite. And I was wearing grey sweat pants with a white wife beater on, with no makeup, so all my red spots where showing. My hair was in a messy bun, and I was sipping Starbucks through a straw.
Not that you cared or anything.
Sadly, I have NO classes with Alexa (probably why I never noticed her ), so when the bell rings at 8:15 am, we have to part until lunch. ( 1:45 . sucks right? ).
First period. Science. Useless. I don't need to know how far away the sun is from the earth's core! Just like maths. No one's going to buy 50 watermelons! And Kroger isn't going to tell me to figure out " how much one bag of skittles costs if each bag of skittles holds 25 skittles, and each skittle is 50 units ". ( crazy, right?!?)
No body will ever need to figure that out. Things always have the craziest prices. And I can tell you one thing, nobody cares how many eggs Berthonamiëw needs for 309 cakes. Nobody eats 309 cakes. Not even me. That's saying something.
Anyways, I sat there, bored as hell, when we cocky ass looking twerp decided to moves seats, right next to me! Out of all the seats! Are you fucking kidding me, bruh? I wanted to claw his eyes out. His face was probably off since 7am, cos I can smell the beer smell coming off his body from 3 feet away.
" Um, what the hell do you think you're doing, Dora?" I mumbled, referring to his haircut.
"Ha ha," he said sarcastically, " I'm getting it cut after school. A dog like you should be honored I want to sit next to you." He said.
"Uh, I should what? I suggest you bite your tongue or I'll shove it up your ass." I threaten just quiet enough for him to hear me.
"Feisty. I like it."
"Good for you."
"You single."
"Nunya"
"Come on!" He begged.
"Fine, you stand on a table, and scream 'I suck man titties' at lunch, I'll go on a date with you."
"I'll have to think about it. That's a hard one." He said half to himself, half to me.
"Is that what your hoe said last night?" I replied!
I heard the American transfer student yell "SHOTS FIRED!!!"
Awww! His accent was soooo cute. He had the whole class in tears. What a dag.
STEP 2: DAY 2: Make a dumb deal with him.
Lunch actually came around pretty damn fast.
"Alexa, you in the mood to laugh?"
I giggled.
"Uh.. Sure, babe." She replied, confused.
"I made a deal with that Dora the explorer looking ass hat over there. If he yells 'I suck man titties' on a table, I go on a date with him. But I'm sure he won't." I laughed, waiting for Alexa to join me. She just stared.
"What?" I questioned.
"That's Vince. He'll do anything to get in a girl as fine as you-no homo. He's a total fuckboi. I think you might owe 'Dora' a date."
