~By the Lion's Mane: See You Again~

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

When the clock chimed midnight, we said our goodnights to the guests and made our way upstairs. I was tired and my dress was long, so it took a while to get up the stairs. When I did, I almost started towards my own suite, but stopped suddenly, unsure about what we were to do. I glanced behind me to the maid who was carrying our candle. She gave me a smile, and I turned around. We have to keep up appearances, I thought to myself. I continued to Caspian’s suite.

“Thank you,” I said to the maid, dismissing her. When I was certain I could no longer hear her soft footsteps, I turned back to Caspian.

“Well?” I said. I was hoping that he would address what we were to do so that I wouldn’t have to.

 “What is it?” Caspian asked.

I blushed, looking at the floor. Then something, maybe the wine I’d had at dinner, made me realize that it was ridiculous to behave this way. After all, I’d done far bolder things in the past and faced them with less trepidation and embarrassment. Caspian and I would have to sleep together in the same room so that when my belly began to grow nothing would seem amiss.

“Rose?” he asked, turning the key in the lock to open the door. “Are you all right? Really, you don’t have to stay in here with me...” he trailed off, suddenly shy.

His embarrassment made me desperate to move past this. “No, it’s just that, well... in England, there’s the tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold for good luck!” I said it cheerily and made it up on the spot, but it worked for me, and I giggled suddenly, probably because of that wine.

He smiled and scooped me up in his arms, carrying my through the door and setting me gently on the bed. As he went to close the door, I looked around his room. It was much different than mine, the furniture made of dark wood, everything accented in scarlet and gold, and thick bear furs on the marble floor to help keep the room warmer in winter. A crackling fire was lit in the hearth, and several small candles were scattered about the room.

Caspian returned and bent down and gave me a chaste, friendly kiss on my forehead and carefully pulled off my tiara and helped me undo my hair.

I shook it out, relieved to no longer have it done up tightly. Also, as pretty as the tiara was, it still poked my scalp. I spied a nightgown laid out across a chair for me, and I crossed the room to pick it up. But then I remembered the dress that I wore, as well as my corset. I sighed and turned to Caspian.

“Um, will you... help me with the dress?” I asked, unable to meet his eyes. I looked everywhere else in the room.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he answered, clearing his throat. His inexperienced fingers clumsily unbuttoned the back of my dress, and once that was undone, he began to loosen the laces of the corset underneath while I awkwardly held up the dress around me.

“Well, I’ll... leave you to it,” he said once he had finished, suddenly awkward again. He disappeared into the next room, probably to change into his nightclothes. I was left to figure out what to do with my dress.

I gingerly stepped out of it, laying it carefully across a chair and smoothing the fabric. I didn’t want to ruin all of the hard work of my dressmaker. I then managed to escape the confines of the corset, relishing in my ability to breathe freely once more. Casting a quick look to make sure Caspian was still in the other room, I pulled my shift off and slid my nightgown over my head, quickly lacing it up the front. I nearly forgot to remove the garter from my thigh, tossing it on top of the dress just as Caspian called, “Are you decent?”

“Yes, you can come back in,” I answered.

He reemerged from the other room, his hair free again and wearing a loose shirt and pants. I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the bedchamber, crossing my arms self-consciously over my chest.

“I’ll just go wash up then,” I murmured, disappearing into the bathroom. There was a pitcher of water and a washcloth, which I used to scrub the makeup off of my face. My face pink from washing, I reemerged from the bathroom. I was suddenly hit by how worn out I was from the day’s festivities.

Caspian had already turned back the covers on the bed and was getting in. I hesitated for a moment before I also got in on the other side. I was thankful for the large bed, so that we wouldn’t have to sleep right next to each other.

I must have been obviously close to the edge on my side of the mattress, because Caspian remarked, “Rose, you know that we’ve slept closer together than this before, don’t you? Your bedroll has been next to mine many times before when we’ve had to camp.”

“Sorry,” was all I could say. I heard him chuckling.

“Goodnight, my mad wife,” he said to me, blowing out his candle.

“Goodnight, Caspian.”

I lay there in the dark room, silently awake. I listened to Caspian breathing; he was not sleeping either.

“Caspian?” I whispered.

“Yes?” he answered.

I felt a lump forming in my throat. “Do you... do you feel like you’ve betrayed her?” I whispered it hoarsely.

Caspian didn’t answer for a long moment. But I heard his breathing hitch slightly at my question, and then his soft exhalation.

“I... Yes. I suppose I do a bit. But Rose, please don’t feel like it’s your fault. It would feel a lot more like betrayal to Susan if I had married a stranger.” He tried to comfort me, but I was feeling a strange mix of both relief and hurt feelings. Slightly hurt because he felt like he was betraying Susan by marrying me, even though I expected that, and relief because I felt the same way about Edmund.

“Rose?” he said quietly, wondering at my silence.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to know. I’m just glad that I don’t have to... pretend with you,” I told him, my voice breaking as the tears finally began to roll down my temples and into my hair.

There was a rustling of sheets as Caspian rolled toward me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I rolled onto my side, and then he pulled me into an embrace.

And that was how I fell asleep and ended my wedding night, crying in the arms of my new husband, both of us mourning for our different loves.

______________________________________________________________

A/N: I love summer vacation! I can finally just sit down and write. It's so nice to be able to get these out fast! Unfortunately (well, for y'all, not me) I will be at the beach next week and will not be writing, but I'm sure that y'all are used to my long delays, so a week shouldn't be too bad. Plus I still have all of this one to write some more :)

Thanks for reading! :)