~By the Lion's Mane: See You Again~

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I don’t remember much of my labor. I remember that there was pain, much more pain than I had ever experienced before, even in being wounded in battle. I remember sweating, and the midwife encouraging me, and screams emitting from my throat until it was sore. Caspian was outside, only listening nervously, the midwife not allowing him in the room with me.

They told me something was wrong.

My baby wasn’t turned the right way, wanted to be born wrong, got stuck. But it was terribly painful and there was a good possibility that one or both of us could die if the midwife couldn’t get it out. My strength was already failing rapidly.

As a last resort, she ordered the doctor to come. They gave me strong wine, nearly pure alcohol, to drink to numb the pain, and then told me that they were going to have to open me up.

Right before I blacked out, I thought back to England, and how doctors there could sedate you, or numb the pain in one area so that you couldn’t feel anything. Oh, how I wished they could do that in Narnia.

After that, I don’t remember anything. I was unconscious for the rest of the ordeal, floating through a dream world made up of a kaleidoscope of colors bursting behind my eyelids and distant voices, and the wail of a baby.

Slowly the room swam before my eyes, and I struggled to see clearly.

“What is it?” I rasped, trying to cling to consciousness for a few more moments.

The midwife held it up as she wiped away the blood and other nastiness and said with a beaming smile, “A boy. Our king has an heir!”

I smiled and laid back on the pillow at last, finally letting darkness overtake me.

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I stayed unconscious for what felt like forever. I had vivid dreams, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t remember them.

I finally woke three days after the birth of my son. I opened my eyes, my lids feeling like they were glued shut. When I had focused, I looked around the room and saw Caspian asleep in a chair right next to my bed, and a baby cradle next to him. He looked pale and deep circles under his eyes showed his exhaustion.

“Caspian,” I croaked, my throat dry and sore.

His eyes flew open and he sat up in surprise. Then he registered the fact that I was awake, and relief and happiness washed over his features.

“Rose,” he breathed, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. “You are awake,” he said, a weak smile on his face.

“Let me see him,” I said, struggling to a sitting position.

As I propped myself up, my abdominal muscles tightened, sending a stab of pain through my lower belly. I gasped and fell back onto the pillow, and Caspian was standing up in a flash, fear in his dark eyes.

He helped me sit up, and then reached down into the cradle. He lifted my sleeping son, wrapped in a soft cotton blanket, and laid him in my arms.

I began to cry as I held him, the tiny, warm little bundle squirming as he began to wake up. He had a little whisp of dark fluff on the top of his head, soft as down. When he woke, I saw that his eyes were a light, chocolate brown. Just like Edmund’s.

After a few moments in which we both just sat in silence while I took in the beauty of this tiny bundle of life, Caspian spoke.

“They said you were both lucky, considering… how hard it was. They—they almost lost both of you, and I was—I was afraid…” I looked up at him and saw he was clenching his jaw and blinking.

What had it been like for my husband, sitting by my bedside for days, not knowing if I would ever wake? The familiar guilt seeped into my chest, but I pushed it away.

Caspian cleared his throat and blinked away the tears, his voice steady again.

“What… what do you wish to name him?” he asked, smiling at me softly.

This was something I had thought long and hard about. Should I choose an English name? Or a name to honor his true father? But no, neither of those would do. He was to be the future king of Narnia, so I had picked a good, strong Narnian name.

“Rilian. His name is Rilian.”

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Caspian and I had a little while longer to ourselves before the midwife and doctor were called back to examine me. Caspian was shooed from the room.

Once the doctor had declared me fit, he exited the room, leaving me behind with the midwife. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her formally cheerful face now grave.

“What is it?” I asked, fear beginning to gnaw at me again. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Oh, nothing’s wrong with you, dear, you’re going to be fine!” she said fervently. “It’s just… the way that your son was delivered, well, you won’t be able to bear anymore children, I’m afraid.”

Oh. So that was it. I was silent for a moment, trying to think about what this meant to me. Obviously, the midwife saw this as a tragedy, but… after the pain of birthing Rilian, I didn’t think that that was something I would ever want to go through again. After all, I had never really thought about motherhood before I became pregnant. And who would I even conceive another child with? I thought to myself.

“Thank you for telling me,” I said quietly, nodding to her.

She curtsied and left the room, finally allowing Caspian to come back in.

We sat again on my bed with my beautiful baby in sleeping in my arms, marveling at the wonder that he was.

~Caspian~

Those three days were agony.

When they told me what they were going to have to do to Rose, I did not see how she would be able to live. I wanted to go to her, but they would not let me, and I feared I would never see her again.

When Rilian was finally born, they brought him to me. “You have a son,” the midwife beamed. I took the tiny thing wrapped in blankets. He was impossibly small, and not at all like the fat babies I had sometimes seen before. His skin was red and his face was scrunched up, possibly out of distaste for his new surroundings. But I felt a twinge when I looked at him.

I knew it was somewhat ridiculous. I was not related to Rilian in any way. How could I love him so instantly? But Edmund was as good as a brother to me, and I loved Rose. It would only make sense that I would love their son as well.

“He is a big, handsome boy, is he not, Your Majesty?” said the midwife. “Even though he is so early!”

“Yes, he is, isn’t he...” I answered. I did not take my eyes off of him.

For all intents and purposes, I would be his father. It was strange to think of. I had never given fatherhood much thought before, and now it was suddenly thrust upon me. I felt a sudden surge of panic when I thought of how little I knew of children and raising them. But I calmed myself. I had done much more terrifying things before, and Aslan was with me.

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A/N: What do y'all think? :)