~By the Lion's Mane: See You Again~

Chapter Six

~Edmund~

I lay in my cot at school, staring up at the water-stained plaster of the ceiling in my dorm. Despite the long day and the soothing patter of rain on the windowpane, I could not bring myself to fall asleep just yet. And it didn’t have anything to do with Brian Winters’ raucous snoring from the bunk across the room.

I was thinking of her again, thinking of our last night together, the way her body had looked in the silvery moonlight in my cabin. The way her flaming hair had spilled across the pillow, her green eyes luminous in the strange light as she gazed up at me lovingly…

I sighed in misery. It did me no good to think of her, only brought me grief, but I didn’t want to forget. Since being back at school for the second term, I had become somewhat of a loner. The few friends that I had had before didn’t understand what was wrong with me, why I was so dejected and silent now. I spent my free time alone, immersed in thought, dreaming about my Rosie…

When I finally did fall asleep, I was plagued by dreams. They were of Rose, of course, and they were beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. I saw her in a white gown, with white flowers and snow raining down around her. Her hair was adorned with blue forget-me-nots, and a silver tiara rested upon her copper hair. She was dressed for a wedding. Her wedding.

When I woke the next morning, I was disturbed by my dreams. Usually I could find sanctuary in them, knowing that she would always be there to keep me company in the night, but this dream had confused me. Mostly I had only relived memories we’d had upon the Dawn Treader or our night in my cabin. But this dream had been different, like I had been standing back from a distance and watching something occur.

“Edmund!”

One of my friends had broken into my thoughts, and I looked up at him dumbly. He rolled his eyes at the rest of our group, laughing.

“I swear, he’s in love! He’s never all here with us, you know? Part of him’s back with his girl, wherever she is!”

They all laughed uproariously, asking me about the girl I’d found over winter break. I did my best to laugh good-naturedly along with them, but they had no idea that inside, I was falling apart.

~Rose~

The next month passed blissfully. At least for most. Everyone about the castle was joyous and at peace, and the servants whistled and sang old Narnian ballads while they worked. We had many guests come and give us their well-wishes and congratulate Caspian and me on our marriage. Everyone in Narnia and the surrounding lands seemed happy and content.

It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. Caspian behaved much the same as he had before. He was kind and understanding in everything he did, and I enjoyed being in his company. I now slept in his chamber, or our chamber, to continue to keep up appearances, although I had grown to like having him close by. His presence was comforting and steadfast in a time when everything else to me seemed totally changeable and unsure.

I knew that he loved me. Not in a romantic sense, of course. He would always reserve that love for Susan, just as I would for Edmund. But we did love each other, though it is hard to explain. It was a love stronger that mere friendship, but not the way lovers love each other. All I knew was that I trusted him completely, and that, without him, I would be lost.

But all of his kindness and love made me feel so guilty and unworthy sometimes. He was so good, protecting me and smoothing out the bumps in the road, and I felt as if I was taking something from him and giving nothing back.

He assured me that that was not the case.

Otherwise, I settled into my role as queen with ease, and it wasn’t very much different than what I had been before, except that I sat in my throne every Sunday for when the citizens of Narnia came to Caspian and me with their problems and needs. They lined up in the Great Hall, sometimes bearing gifts, and one by one, we would listen to them. It was a way to meet Narnia’s needs and know what the people wanted firsthand, hearing it straight from their mouths.