~By the Lion's Mane: See You Again~

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Rilian’s first birthday party was quite a celebration. The monarchs from the neighboring countries and other nobles visited Cair Paravel to see the young prince of Narnia, bringing all sorts of extravagant gifts, most of which were not exactly suited to a baby, but were more to impress Caspian and me. On the night of his birthday, September 21st, we had a feast with some of the nobility in the Great Hall. Rilian sat in his highchair, mashing his birthday cake into one big mess before eating it with his fists and smearing it around his face. He grinned at me, showing his cake-filled mouth, and I laughed.

One by one, our guests stood to make toasts to the prince, wishing him good health, long life, and a peaceful reign. When the last one had finally taken his seat again, Caspian raised his newly refilled wine-glass to me and said simply, “To our son.”

It was as if a knife of ice had pierced my body, and I faltered for a moment. I don’t deserve you, I thought. Caspian had done more than I could have ever asked of him or hoped. He loved Rilian like his own, and had named him heir to the throne of Narnia, despite not even sharing blood. I wished Susan could have known him longer, so that she might have seen what a wonderful father he was.

And, as usual, I longed for Edmund and for him to know his son.

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Meanwhile, life continued in Narnia. My son continued to grow, and it seemed each day he could do something new. He could get around quite easily, and I had a hard time keeping up with him as he ran around the castle and the gardens. I took him to the stables with me quite frequently, and Anduril was always overjoyed to see him. He would lower his head to Rilian’s level and whuffle in his hair, and the boy would grab Andy’s mane and yank on it. But the unicorn never seemed to mind. Sometimes I would even sit Rilian upon Andy’s broad back for a few moments, keeping a hand on him to steady him. My son would squeal and laugh and beat his fists on Andy’s withers, and Andy would crane his head around to look at him, but he never complained.

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I am loathe to admit, even though it wasn’t often, that I sometimes longed for the time before Rilian had been born, and I was free to do what I wanted. I could ride out with the men to battle, or help drive out the giants in the north, or hunt a few of the remaining witches, hags, and werewolves that still lurked along the western borders, in the wilder lands. But I had grown rusty and out of practice with a sword, and my muscles lacked their former strength. I had grown soft.

I was more lady than knight now.

I missed the adventure and the danger, and longed to journey to a distant land again. Caspian often sailed to Calormen or the Islands upon the Dawn Treader, but I had not been at sea since our voyage to the World’s End.

I was jealous.

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Perhaps that was why I was so pleased to hear about the strange happenings in very far north. As Caspian and I sat on our thrones in the Great Hall one Sunday, listening to the people requesting this and that, and reporting on various happenings, a mixed group of a man, woman, and two Animals came to the front of the line.

“And what is it that brings you to request an audience with the King and Queen?” asked Caspian in the same tone as he had used to repeat the formal words to each and every citizen.

They bowed, and then the man spoke. “Your Majesties, we wish to report to you that we believe something strange is afoot,” he said.

“And what leads to believe this?” I asked kindly.

The man exchanged glances with the woman who I guessed was his wife, and then she said, “Well, it’s just been little things, odd things.”

Caspian was growing a tad impatient; we still had many more to hear. “Such as what?” he asked.

Exasperated with the humans, one of the Animals, a Mink, stepped forward and said, “Such as several friends disappearing for weeks and then turning back up without any idea how long they’ve been gone or where they’ve been. Like birds, in some kind of daze, flying straight into trees or buildings. Dwarves saying that the earth just doesn’t feel right. Odd things like that.”

I glanced at Caspian, who was frowning slightly. “Well... what do you wish to be done?” I asked.

They all shrugged. “We don’t know. We just figured it’d be a good thing to let you know about, and you decide if there’s anything to be done.” said the man.

Caspian’s frown lifted. He smiled and nodded and said, “Well, we thank you, loyal friends, for informing us. If anything further occurs, please do not hesitate to report it.” He bowed his head to them and they bowed to him, and then scurried off.

I watched them go, slightly intrigued by their story. I briefly wondered if there was any truth to it, but quickly forgot them when the next in line bowed and greeted us.

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Time continued to pass by, some days seemingly at a crawl, others as if it had wings. Rilian grew bigger, and had more birthdays; a second, a third, a fourth. When he turned five, he got his first hound. He and the speckled pup with floppy ears became inseparable and often romped together in the gardens.

I watched my son grow with contentment, but underneath, I was restless. I didn’t take Andy out for rides nearly as often as I once did, and my fighting skills had grown rusty from disuse. I tried to spar occasionally with Caspian or another soldier, but was often busy with Rilian. I longed for something to do, other than be a diplomat and run the castle. I longed to shed my skirts and dress regularly in men’s clothes again. I longed for companionship.

I had plenty of friends, yes. But many of them were just servants of the castle, or foreign rulers, or silly women of the nobility who were good for gossip and chatter, but not for action and adventure. None of them understood me and my longing for adventures like Lucy, Susan, Peter, or Edmund. I missed them so much sometimes it felt like I couldn’t even stand up straight from the ache.