Cheese & Chocolates

The eyes are the windows of the soul

Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other.
— Rainer Maria Rilke

Matt watched her at a distance, as he strummed the next few chords in his guitar, the lyrics rolling out of his tongue like honey. His voice was a little raspy, but sweet, and soft... he sounded like a boy, that's for sure. His grey eyes gazed at her emerald ones, and her breathing hitched. She was trapped, and she knows it. But she won't let him know. The bar was packed with people, as always, just to hear Thorns play, and of course, to ogle at Matt Olsen, the lead singer, and guitarist of the band. Chelsea wanted him. She wanted his hands to stroke her hair, touch her, hold her, and never let her go. She wanted, so bad, to express her feelings that she'd been keeping for eight years. She thought she could fight it, but the attraction just keeps getting stronger and stronger, like magnetic poles, north and south, trying to find their way back each other.

Chelsea didn't have any clue if he had any idea as to who she was or what she felt for him. Maybe, he knew her, since one of his band mates, was her childhood best friend. Ever since  Thorns started practicing in Damon's garage after school, she tagged along in their practices, sneakily ogling at Matt, and listening to him in awe. There were times he would catch her stealing glances at him, but she made sure to turn away each time he does catch her. Every time, he had the same effect on her. It was like an infection, slowly becoming a disease, consuming her, and she never gets better, it just gets worse.

Thorns was an underground band, formed by her childhood friend, Damon, and his best friends, Charlie, Alex, Philip, and Matt. Chelsea had always been present to each and every performance and gig they had. She never missed one, but nobody knew she was watching them. Little did she know, Matt kept an eye on her for so long already. He knew she was watching, and his songs were always for her. How he wished his message could reach her. Chelsea didn't know if he was staring directly at her, or he was just staring at her direction. She made sure she always sat on the back, so that no one could see her. She liked being invisible, and enjoying the music in solitariness, it relaxed her. Listening to Matt's voice in peace calmed her.

Her best friend, Aly, was in front, dancing. She can catch a glimpse of her best friend's strawberry blonde locks whipping in the air. She laughed at this. Aly was the complete opposite of her. How they became best friends in the first place, she would never know. All she remembered was Aly approaching her first during freshman year, because she's just that friendly. After that, they stuck together like glue. Aly was bubbly, charming, smart, and funny. Any guy would love to be with her, and any girl would love to be her.

Sometimes, she was jealous of her friend's sunny disposition, because her aura was the opposite. Maybe, if she could be more like her... Matt would like her.  Maybe, if she possessed an inkling of Aly's confidence, it could help her get to know Matt, but then, did she want him to know her? Chelsea slumped back on her chair, looking at her fingers wrapped around a can of cherry coke. She hated how insecure she was. She hated herself for being so imperfect.

Aly and Damon were dating. They started dating, the moment they laid eyes on each other. Crazy, but they both explained this connection that pulled them towards each other. Like, love at first sight. It made her happy that two of the people she truly cared about were dating, and found love in each other, but at the same time, she felt sad and alone.

She felt like the third wheel when the three of them walk side-by-side together. Although, she knows, that they never intended it to be that way. It was just her, overthinking things again. However, there were times that her heart ached, when she thinks about Matt, and wonders if he would ever look at her the same way. And yet, a part of her was scared.

Damon and Aly knew the reason as to why she fears to open herself to people. The lesser the people she gets involved with, the lesser the complications, which is why, Matt was, no doubt, off her list, no matter how much she wanted to be with him. Two people in her life was enough. Aly and Damon were more than just her best friends, they were also family. Aside from Caleb, her younger brother, the two were the only people she cared about. Her parents detached themselves in her world, ages ago. She never liked the thought of attaching herself to someone who will detach himself from her in the future - it hurt too much.