him. ; muke [short story]

0.3

i'm going to have to apologize right now, and this definitely hasn't been the first or the last 'i'm sorry' i'll give you. in fact, this notebook will probably be full of them by the time i've stopped writing in it. but i'm getting off track.

the point is, i don't like strangers. you know that now, but you didn't then. i didn't like how you tried to poke around in my life, even though the questions you asked me were ordinary questions that should have had no effect on me at all. but, they did, because my past was and is just a bunch if shitty sob stories all piled together into one. my school? yea, college sucks. my family? yea, they suck. everything in my life just sucked, until you came along.

there i go with the cheesiness again. sorry. sometimes i can't help it, though. i keep thinking that maybe if i do send these to you, that you'll read them and smile and think of it all as some big romantic gesture that i'm using to get you back. but i know you better. you wouldn't fall for it.

but since i'm here and we're talking about it, school's going well. i started classes again a couple of weeks ago, and this time i decided to get an education in something i actually care about. i want to study psychology and be a counselor or social worker for kids like me who've had a shit life. i know if you were here right now and you didn't hate my very existence, that you would jump for joy and encourage me to do just that. but, the thing is, you aren't here, and you definitely hate me so...

about my family though. well, it could be better, as always. but i'm trying to look on the bright side of things so i'll just start off by saying that charlie starts kindergarten in a few weeks. kennedy is bringing him over to my apartment so we can walk him in together. i can't believe he's five already! it amazes me how fast time goes by. he misses you, too. he talks all the time about all the adventures you two used to go on.

all that i ask is that if you don't come back for me, come back for him? please? he loves you so much. you're his father now, whether you like it or not, and he needs you.

i need you.

-michael xx

❦

some of you might be confused but it'll all tie together in the end :-)

-morgan xx