A Year and 365 Days

Chapter 16

Five months into the investigation of Olivia's disappearance:

Squad
It had been five months, nearly half a year since Olivia had disappeared. It was taking a toll on the squad. Each detective would show up to work looking the worst they'd ever been. Heavier, darker and more noticeable circles layered continuously under everyone's eyes. Throughout the five months, they had heavily focused on trying to search for Olivia, even being a sex crimes unit, Cragen dared to take on the search for Olivia. Cragen had eventually hired extra detectives around to help with the assault cases.

Amaro and Fin strolled through the bullpen and took a glimpse at Captain's open blinds , peeking through the glass and seeing him on the phone. They walked past the check in desk and bulletin boards where posters and photos of Olivia were pinned to. Nick took a deep sigh as his weight sank into the leather office chair. Fin leaned against his desk, taking a sip of coffee out of an NYPD mug. Munch and Rollins had been sitting at their desks when Fin and Amaro had come in. Captain opened his office door and didn't say a word to the huddled detectives, but only giving them a hand gesture for them to pile into his office.

Each looked at each other, fearing the worst that Olivia had turned up somewhere, but not in good thoughts. Cragen stood behind his desk, hands in his pockets while waiting for Munch to close the door behind them. Rollins, Fin and Munch stood to the front right of Captain while Amaro distanced to his front left with the feeling of emptiness of not having Olivia next to him. Cragen looked each of them in the eyes before losing eye contact with them. Captain took his hands out of his pockets and balled them into fists and leaned on them against his desk while standing.

"The Feds are taking over the investigation--- the man upstairs told me we had to get back to our usual work."

Amaro took a step forward.

"The Feds are making us quit on searching for Olivia?"
"They're taking full charge of the investigation, believe me, I don't want to do it either, but it's their job, and we have ourselves to do a job." Cragen snapped back
"Rollins, Fin, there's a recent call at Central Park, go look into it." Cragen ordered
Rollins and Fin left without saying a word having been shocked by being told they had to stop searching for one of their own.
"And Amaro, take the rest of the day off, go see Zara."
"But Cap-"
"I don't want any arguments, come in tomorrow with your head in the game."

Amaro left closing the door shut behind him with a slight slam. Amaro couldn't believe he had just been told to stop looking for Olivia. He walked out of the back doors to the precinct.

Munch remained in the office while he watched Cragen pace back and forth. He stopped at the window and stared at the missing poster of Olivia out his window.

"The Feds told me they'd give us updates if they find anything." He said in a barely audible tone

Munch walked towards the door before patting Cragen on the back.

"We'll find her, I promise"

Munch left his words to be faded into Cragen's mind.

Olivia
I had been here for five months. Five months of torture on the front lines. Damien and Alex had started to get more violent each day. The smallest mistake you made could cost you big time. It was a Sunday, I was surprised I was able to keep up with the dates and months. It was Sunday the twenty-fourth of February. I was close to hitting the six month mark of my stay here. It was only the early signs of spring here, as the winter months had been slow for "business". Transportation and business had gone down and all the girls including Amber and I had only gone out at least two times a week compared to every other night or so.

March was approaching quickly and Amber and I been interrupted in our room by a scream downstairs. We didn't dare to poke our heads out the door in fear of being caught or punished.

POP

I recognized the familiar sound of a gunshot going off. Amber jumped from her temporary seat on her bed. She started saying things to herself in French. I had only understood a few words. If my little understanding of French was right, I had heard her say that the girl who screamed was Meryl. Meryl was brown eyed blonde from Germany. I had learned that Meryl had come around the same time as Amber and they had found comfort in each other until Damien and Alex had moved her out. At this point Amber was having a mental breakdown, streams of tears going down her face and her hands tearing at her hair. I rushed over to her even though my weakens body tried to prevent me.

"Amber, Amber! You need to take a deep breath, breathe..."

I couldn't do anything with Amber's current condition and I soon threw my hand across her cheek. She snapped out of the breakdown after I had slapped her. Apparently, the brutal beatings and constant hitting from Damien and Alex had shaped her into behaving. I regretted having to use force like this but it was the only way to help her. An hour later after having talked to her, she calmed down. We had made our way downstairs at the usual time to have a meal with the other girls.

At the table downstairs, Damien and Alex hadn't bothered to show up. Neither had Meryl, and the girls stared at one another while they saw the empty chair at the end of the table. Whispers went across the table and paused for a moment went Amber left the table and went upstairs. I stayed at the table and had soon found out a reason for the death of Meryl. Meryl had eventually found out a way of escape and word had traveled. Damien and Alex would know that Meryl would bolt soon once her plan was in place. She would of gone to the Policija, also known as police or law enforcement in Croatian. I exited the table thinking of ways to not end up dead by the end of my journey here- if it would ever end.

My mind wondered that night while laying in under the thin cotton blanket that covered my thin legs. I listened to the wind howl against the window. I watched an old tree sway back and forth. Words came to my mind.

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls, and window sills

The smell of old dust in the room gave me an old flashback of home. I missed my apartment, the old smell of dust, worn tables and chairs. Thoughts of a four year old Olivia Benson climbing the tree in the backyard of my childhood house flooded my memories. Before the crazed drunkenness of Serena, I had remembered playing in the garden of the house I once lived in. I remembered a tree that was old as me. Mom had planted it when I was born, a sign of another life growing alongside with me. I had spent so many nights out there under the tree, avoiding my hungover mother. Staring up at the stars, wondering what life would be ahead of me. The tree had rooted me down enough to find a peaceful time in my life whole being surrounded by the abuse of Serena.

Wetness dampened my eyes. I wiped away the tears. Tearing away the thoughts of memories from home was all I could do for now. Now, most of my memories belong here, in this place of stone. I was waiting to be rescued by someone who wouldn't come. It was a ticking clock until I'd be lost in the wind, gone, and never to be brought back down to earth.

I was ragged kite, always waiting for the wind that would never come.