The Good Boy's Bad Boy // Phan Smut

13: I Care...

(Trigger warning: Selfharm)
~Dan's POV~
It's already Monday. Another week at school. Another week to be mean to people I honestly don't want to be mean to... I passed by Phil this morning and we just waved. I joined my group and listened to them talking about smoking weed, having sex and more. Abigail was there too and gave me a death stare.

"The fuck is wrong with her?" Nick asked. "I don't know..." I lied. "Yes the fuck you do know! You broke up with me! For... For... Becky, that slut!" She shouted. Becky was not far from us, frowning and walked away. "Becky! Don't listen to her." I shout. "You're a hoe, Abigal. I only get to be mean to Becky. Ugh. BECKY!" Jessica ran after her and I rolled my eyes. "I broke up with you because I don't love you." I said.

"Shit is going to happen." Cody whispers.

"Just. Fuck it." I went to walk away and felt something against my lips. It wasn't satisfying. It was gross. Lots of lipstick and lots of Abigal. I try to push away and she broke the kiss.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" I shout. I wipe my mouth and then saw Phil standing just a couple feet away. His eyes filled with hurt. Shaking his head, he ran off. "Phil!" I shout and ran after. Somehow Phil is way faster and I just stopped. Goddamn it...

Throughout the day, Phil avoided me in class. I wanted to explain to him that I didn't kiss her. That she kissed me.

School was finally over and I saw Phil talked to Pj and Chris. Pj saw me and gave me a death stare. I just flipped him off. But when I did, I instantly regretted it.

Pj was my friend before. So was Chris. My best friends actually. But I just left them. Left them just to be in the popular group. I started to be mean to them and they didn't know what happened to me. Honestly, I don't know what happened to me. But I think Phil is making me find my old self. Well my old self wouldn't be having sex... Maybe...

I got in my car and saw Phil get in his too. Maybe I should follow him to his house and apologize? Now I seem like a creepy person... Oh well.

When Phil started to drive, I slowly followed and texted my mom telling her I'm hanging out with Phil. She was perfectly fine with that.

Phil pulled into his driveway and I sat in my car for a bit. After a couple minutes, I walked to the front door. Right when I was about to knock, the door opens. "Oh. Hello. Are you one of Phil's friends?" A lady asked. "Yes ma'am. I'm Dan. Nice to meet you." I smiled. "Oh my gosh! Dan? I've been wanting to meet you." She said and gave me a hug. "I'm Phil's mum." Wow she's super nice. "Phil's in his bedroom. Come in. I should be back in a couple minutes. I have to get my husband because he got a flat tire." She tells me. "Okay. Nice to meet you." I walked in and she closed the door as she walked out.

After a minute, I called out for Phil. He must be alone, because his car is the only one here now -including mine. "Phil!" I walked around the house and got to a bathroom door. I heard... Crying.

"Phil?" I slowly open the door. That's when I saw Phil. Sitting on the toilet. Razor to his wrist. Blood coming out. Even on his hips.

He didn't notice me at first, since he continued to cut more and more. The blood getting worse. I quickly reacted and stopped him. He screamed.

"Why did you do that! Why don't you just me bleed to death! Why don't you let me cut my wrist like a little fucking emo fag I am! Someone that nobody loves! Nobody cares about! I'm fucking worthless! Why can't I just die! LET! ME! FUCKING! DIE!" He cried. That made my heart break. Just to hear him say that about himself. "Your little shit of friends fucking beat me up today! They saw how I ran away almost in tears seeing you and that... That... Fucking slut of a girlfriend you have kissed! They're like, 'aw. The little emo fag likes our buddy Daniel. Well he's not a fag like your ugly ass bitch.' And they kicked me. Punched me. Called me names. Told me to cut deeper to kill myself. So that's what I'm trying to do." He continued and then picked up his bloody razor. I slapped the razor out of his hand and pulled him close to my chest. He screamed and screamed.

"Stop! Just let me die! Nobody will miss me! Nobody loves me! I'm just a little emo fag nobody loves and cares about!" He cried.

It kills me inside. I love him. I will miss him. I care about him.

"Shh.... Shh..." We sit on the floor, he wraps his legs around me as he cries. "Hey... We should clean your cuts and wrap them up. Okay... The bleeding isn't that bad now." I said calmly to him. Phil looks at me, his blue eyes filled with sadness. He nods and I looked for a first-aid kit. When I did, I got a washcloth and cleaned the blood. I put some peroxide and Phil just flinched. "Are you... Use to the pain?" I asked. "Pretty much..." He seemed lifeless.

I wrapped his wrist and then his hips. I stare at every scar he's made on himself, even the ones Nick and them have. Ones I've made too... I closed my eyes, trying to forget how I used to hurt Phil and I have made him cut before.

"Just to let you know... I do care. I care a lot." I said. Phil just shrugs his shoulder so I tried to clean the bathroom floor and all, pretty much got all of blood.

"How about we go to your room... Your mum had to go get your dad." I tell him. "I don't care about him." He said, seriousness in his voice and he looked kinda angry. "Well... Let's go to your room and watch anime or something." He nods a little. I decided to carry him to his bedroom, somehow finding it...

I set him on his bed and looked around. "Nice room." I said and then sat next to him. Phil had his knees up to his chest and I sighed.

I decided to go to his stereo and play music. I put in Panic! At The Disco and I sat back on the bed. Phil was now laying down staring at his wrist.

"Why did you let me... Wait... How do you know where I live?" He asked.

"I may had followed you home. I needed to speak to you. Also you don't deserve to die." I tell him. "Nobody would care. Nobody loves me." He said once again. "I would care. And I love you." Phil rolls his eyes, turning to his side and hissed. "Fucking hips." He whispers. It was silent and I decided to lay down next to him. I even put my arm over him and grabbed his hand.

"Thank you... For... Stopping me I guess... Even though I hate how you did." Phil was quiet. "You're welcome. I do care. That's why I stopped you. I'm happy I followed you. You shouldn't hate me for stopping you." I said. Then we stopped talking. We just laid there listening to Panic! At The Disco.

Author's note:
okay. Typing this made me cry... But I just felt like this had to be a chapter. I don't know why. To show how Phil is feeling at the moment. How much Dan actually cares.
But I promise the next chapter won't be sad. I promise.