The Dark Princess {OUAT AU}

Chapter 20

The chant is said, the business  is done, and then Valerie walks out back into the room. She slips the book onto the desk discreetly and then joins him in the bed.

"How are you feeling?"Killian asks, tucking her into into his body. They fit together perfectly and for the first time in a long time Valerie feels protected and content.

~~~

Valerie checks every day for the next week to see if she is pregnant but the test comes back negative every time. The overwhelming grief turns Valerie into a nervous nut-shell and Killian leaves his duties in order to help her.

"Listen to me love. We will have a baby." Killian reassures her one night as they lie in bed. They had done nothing, and Valerie just wanted to be held.

"I think I'm barren. This is my mother cursing me." Valerie babbled. Killian stroked her slightly ratty hair and made soft cooing noises. He gently shushed her.

"You are not barren. People don't always get pregnant the first time round." He says, hoping this will calm his unusually anxious wife.

"But I should've. It should've worked." She whispers but Killian only hears the first part of her statement.  She curls further into the man that held her like a baby.

"You're okay. It'll happen. I want you to cheer up. Do you remember what tomorrow is?" Killian asks and Valerie rouses herself from the prison that is her mind to focus on him.

"If it's important then I'm sorry. I have no idea." She gives up and Killian chuckles.

"How can you forget your own birthday?" He says and her eyes widen a touch.

"My birthday." She repeats.

"You're going to be eighteen love. I know we're still young so I want you to stop focusing on growing up. As much as your parents' sudden death left you with all the responsibility you still need to enjoy life."

"Okay, I promise." Valerie says, and stays true to her word. For her birthday she tries to have fun and she does.

~~~

Two years later

Valerie and Killian still try to have children but Valerie has detached herself from the hope of it coming true. All the years have done is make her hardened with the realization that she is not going to have kids. It's a horrible curse but one Valerie has to bear. Killian tries to be there for her and for a long time she tries to be positive for his sake. But he has noticed how she's gradually pulling away from him, spending majority of her time in the godforsaken tower, practicing her witchcraft.

The night of Valerie's twentieth birthday Killian tries to surprise her by covering their room in rose petals and romancing her with a poem he wrote. She had been avoiding him and this year she asked to not have a party. Emma and Regina had stopped sending letters to their best friend and when the invitation for the wedding came Killian noticed how formal it was, with no added notes. Valerie took one look at it before laying it in her palm and letting a small fireball consume the parchment in a matter of seconds. Killian didn't say another word about it and instead wrote a letter home. He had to know if his mother was well. 

Valerie walked into their bedroom and stopped cold, her long brown hair hanging straight down and the shapeless gown falling down her her slim frame and hitting her ankles.

"What is all this?" She asked, but her voice was dead, not the excitement or joy Killian was hoping for.

"I wanted to do something special for you. I thought you'd want to be together on your birthday." Killian says. A glimmer of a smile graces her lips for a few seconds but then it falls away from her pale face. How did I not notice how pale she is? Killian thinks and then looks at Valerie properly. Her collar bone sticks out above the neckline of the gown and he can see how thin her limbs are. Has she been eating?