I Would Do Anything For You

Chapter Four

I was in band class setting up my flute. I enjoyed this class, the instructor was like a father to me, and playing my instrument was my escape.

I sat in my seat next to my stand partner, Chloe. The instructor, Mr. Evans, started the class, we did a scale as our warm up. We played pretty good as a band.

"Flutes, we're gonna do solo auditions today," said Mr. Evans. I was debating on whether I should audition or not. It was a nice piece and the solo was pretty simple.

"So... Who wants to audition?" Mr. Evans asked. I raised my hand along with five other girls.

The six of us auditioned until it was just me and Savannah. Mr. Evans made the both of us play the solo again so he can make his final decision. Savannah was really good, there is no way I was gonna get the solo.

"Solo goes to Makenzie," Mr. Evans stated as he wrote it down. The band clapped for me. I was surprised I got the part instead of Savannah, but I'm proud.

"Kenz! You got the solo!" said Stevi and one of my close friends, Aiden.

"I'm surprised I did," I said.

"Bitch, shut up. You're good, I knew you were gonna get it," said Stevi. I laughed and waved them goodbye as we parted ways after the bell rung. I had a free period so I went to the cafeteria to sit with my friends.

I waited at the table while they got lunch. I never got any food. I'm too fat and I needed to fix that.

A few minutes later, they came back with their lunch trays. Two of the girls, Hannah and Alexandra, whispered to each other, looked at me then laughed. I hid my hands in my sleeves and shifted in my seat feeling uncomfortable. Alexandra looked at me again and laughed.

"You know what? Fuck you!" I yelled as I got out of my seat, grabbing my bookbag and speed walked out of the cafeteria. I made my way to the band room feeling tears forming.

I didn't know someone was following me until I heard my name being called. I turned around and saw my boyfriend with a concerned look on his face.

"What happened back there?" Joey asked.

"Nothing. Just forget about it," I said.

"Okay... Well I got to talk to you about something," Joey started sounding serious, "About that post on Instagram, you got to stop seeking for attention."

"Oh, now I'm an attention seeker?" I snapped.

"I mean, you keep posting how you're whatever days clean and it seems like you want all attention on you. Just stop posting stuff like that," Joey said.

"You can't tell me what to do. I can do whatever the fuck I want," I snapped at him. I walked away and made my way to the band room.

After school, Joey drove me to his house. Things didn't really go well.

"Let me go!" I yelled as I tried to break free from Joey's grip. We were on his bedroom floor. I was on his lap as he held me tight, trying to calm me down.

"Not until you promise you won't do anything," he said. I was still trying to break free, hoping he'll loosen his grip on me.

"Let me go! I wanna die! Just let me go! Let me die!" I screamed. I soon gave up and let him hold me as I cried. I just wanted to die, but he wouldn't let me. Why couldn't he just let me die?

Joey drove me home later that night. I rummaged in my closet for my shiny friends. I pulled my skinnies down and slid the blade across my thighs.

One cut. Two cut. Three cut. Four. Five. Ten. Twenty. Thirty.

Over forty cuts. I cleaned up the wounds then put the sharp objects away. I went to bed and cried. I planned on dying after the Black Veil Brides concert. But he won't let me. I'll go soon. With the thoughts of dying, I cried myself to sleep.

School the next day sucked. People calling me names and throwing stuff at me. The stinging of my cuts against the fabric of my hoodie. The usual.

After school, Joey drove me to his house again. I could tell he was turned on because as soon as we got to his room, he kissed my neck and his hands roamed my body. Not again, I thought. Can we just go one day without this?

"I want you," he whispered in my ear as he kissed my cheek.

"Not today," I said pushing him away. But he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Come on. Just a quick one," he said as he took off my pants and underwear and kissing down my body.

"Joey, no," I said trying to push him away, feeling uncomfortable. He didn't stop as he went down further.

I gave up on trying to stop him and just let him do whatever happened next. I hated when he made me have sex with him even when I didn't want to. He never listens to me, so I just let him.

After he climaxed, he drove me home. I kissed him goodbye then got out of the car. I walked up to my front door, took a deep breath then walked in.

"Where were you?" My mom asked angrily.

"Joey's house," I simply stated and went to my room. I checked my iPod and saw I had a message from Joey.

Joey: hey we need to talk.

I replied with an okay. A couple minutes he texted.

Joey: i think we should break up.

What... Why? I replied. He wouldn't tell me why. Next thing I knew, I was crying in bed with bloody wrists. I can't believe he would break up with me after what happened at his house. He used me? I felt so dirty.

I went to group a few days later. The people there always make me laugh. Zack told a story about when he made a girl at his school cry by telling her she had really bad eyebrows. Everyone laughed and so did I.

As a few of them told stories, my mind went to Zack. I looked up at him and saw that he was looking at me. I quickly looked away and shifted in my seat. When I looked back up, I saw that he was still looking at me.

A few seconds later, he blushed and looked away when he realized I caught him staring. He was so adorable. But he is way out of my league. I had to figure out a way to keep my mind off him.

"Hey Kelly, can we exchange numbers after group?" The new girl, Makayla, asked.

"Sure," replied Kelly. After group, everyone exchanged numbers. I just sat there awkwardly.

"Why aren't you exchanging numbers with us?" One of the girls asked me.

"I don't have a phone," I simply stated.

"Then what's that?" Zack asked pointing at the iPod next to me.

"It's an iPod," I replied with a bitchy attitude.

"Okay, sorry. Jeez," said Zack with his hands up in surrender. I felt bad for giving him an attitude. I didn't mean to, it just happened.

Does he hate me now?