pain that lies within

When it all began

     I don't know from where to start telling you this story, maybe from the part where I was diagnosed with an eating disorder or from the part where I met the strangest person that could ever exist in this world, you know after Frida Kahlo. How about starting with cheesy quotes like "the right person makes the bad times good and the good times unforgettable" or maybe I should mentioned why twenty years from now I am going to look back and remember that he was the person that could ironically turn every frown into a smile.

You know what I should just go ahead and start it, over view style (till we get to the moral point of course.)

     I was a normal teenage girl with normal teenage friends, trapped in the hell that is high school until my whole world came crashing down on me. It was almost the end of the year and everyone was getting ready for junior and senior prom, the girls all obsessed with losing weight to be able to fit into their dresses. Now I wasn't much of a dress girl or even thought about what I looked like in one until I went dress shopping with my best friend Lily.

"Hey Cara what do you think about this one?"

"Fine I guess"

"Could you please be a little more descriptive?"

"What do you want me to say Lily, it is a fine looking dress, so are you going to try it on"

"Nope, it's for you, come on If you like it I'll buy it for you."

"Fine" I responded back very irritated.

     I tried on the piece of fabric everyone calls dress; it was a fragile thing I thought I was going to rip it just getting into it. A long dress with a layer of sheer red fabric on top of a black slip, I felt like I was back in the nineties with its little spaghetti stripe sleeves.

"So how do I look?" I asked trying to sound positive about this whole shopping experience which was clearly overwhelming but somehow Lily didn't seem to notice.

"Spin for me please, ah yes, you could clearly loose like 5 pounds and then you'll look fabulous."

"You really think so"

"yes, I mean there is nothing wrong with how you look but you know this is a special night and everyone is doing it so why not do it."

"I'll give you four words why, NOT – A – GYM – FRIEND."

"We wouldn't have to go to the gym; we could do it at home with like YouTube videos or something."

"Ok then, I guess I'm in." I agreed not knowing that after that day my live would become a series of living hell and mental facility visits.