pain that lies within

The day I met Marcus and Sally

      The third time I visited Sally I met Marcus, now Marcus was not Sally's patient he just liked to be there for some odd reason. He looked like he had never seen the light of the sun before, pale with really dark black hair, eyes with the brightest blue color but there was something strange about him and that was what probably drew my attention. I didn't talk to him, just stared like those little kids staring at a toy or a vendee machine, he didn't seem to notice me anyways or if he did he didn't seem to care that he was picked out of everyone in the room by a girl that was dressed like a picture you would find on your tumblr feed. Then he faded away making me think he was never to be seen again.

     Sally was my therapist, pretty cool last name Karpenfire, I have no idea what it meant and wasn't about to ask her but it was still a pretty cool last name. She was the type of therapist that tried to be your friend which I find completely idiotic, isn't she supposed to not get attached to me, isn't that why she is my therapist but it's whatever. 

                 Now that we are all caught up it's time to start the real story, the reason we are all here.    

                                                                                            ○○ <  ○  > ○○ 

   I walked into sally's office not wanting to be there, why would I; all she was going to do was make me fatter, I have seen the girls who've walked out of therapy, who have gotten "better" they all gained way too much weight and because of previous eating disorders were not allowed to lose the weight. So I walked in sat down on the white leather chair and stared at the walls filled with drawings clearly drawn by a five year old.

Sally: So Cara why don't you tell me a bit about yourself.

Me: ...

Sally: ok how about I tell you a bit about myself and then you go, we'll do it back and forth it's only fair right?

Me: (stares at walls once again)

Sally: Well, my name is Sally as you may already know and I have a 6 year old son.

Me: ...

           After a few minutes of pure silence, just me staring at a wall and Sally staring at me, she started to get a little irritated.

Sally: Okay, I have been doing this job for 10 years and you are the hardest patient I have ever worked with.

Me: Why does your son draw like a five year old?

Sally: what? Oh the pictures on the wall, yeah he drew those when he was about 3.

There was a long quiet pause with me starring back at the wall thinking about whether I should talk or not and with Sally staring at me (clearly annoyed) but still smiling.

Me: I don't have to be here, I am not sick.

Sally: If you are not sick than why are you here?

Me: Because my best friend couldn't handle the fact that I am for once skinnier than her.

Sally: Do you really believe that?

Me: I don't know.

    We spent the whole hour figuring out why I was in therapy and in a feeding clinic, Sally only mentioned Ana once. She asked me what I thought Anorexia was and what I thought of Ana. I told her that Ana doesn't mean to hurt you she just wants to help you just that you have to learn to control Ana since she is not you she is just your friend.