Maybe This Time

Apologies

Maine couldn't believe the scene that was playing right before her eyes. The man she loved so dearly was with an ex she's always been insecure of. She's been standing there long enough to catch Julie Ann reach for Alden's hand and she was surprised when the latter did not pull away.

She thought she could handle the pain of seeing Alden with someone else after everything that's been said and done, but she couldn't. And that's when she decided to do something about the situation. She needed Alden to know that she was back, that she was more than ready to love him again.

Maine decided to walk towards them. "Act normal." She thought, holding onto her shoulder bag a lot tighter than usual.

As Maine got closer, both Alden and Julie Ann stood up. The latter knew that it had been her advice for Alden to go after Maine, but she secretly wanted to hold his arm in front of her and pretend like she was his girlfriend in the midst of all this.

"Anung ginagawa mo dito?" Alden asked, still in disbelief that Maine was standing in front of him. It may have only been a little over a year since they've last seen each other, but Alden felt like it had been forever since that night.

"Bumalik ako para sa'yo." Maine said. "Pero huli na ata ang dating ko." She added, stealing a glance at Julie Ann, who couldn't look at her straight in the eye.

"Maine, kung ano man yang iniisip mo, hindi yan totoo." Julie Ann said, though her eyes were still somewhere else. When she finally had the courage to look at Maine, she caught the latter looking right at Alden with eyes full of longing. And she knew that it was her cue to go.

"Nag-usap lang talaga kami ni Alden." Julie Ann explained. "Huwag kang mag-alala, aalis na rin ako." She gathered her things, as well as the Cafe Mocha and Chicken Sandwich that Alden had prepared for her. If this was the last time Alden was going to give something to her, she didn't care if it was food. She had to keep it.

Without saying goodbye, Julie Ann walked away from Maine and Alden. Before finally exiting the cafe, she looked at Alden one last time and said to herself, "Goodbye, Alden. Sana maging masaya ka na talaga." And off she went.

When Maine felt like tears were about to come out of her eyes, she instantly looked away. She knew she had so much to say to Alden, but she didn't know where to start. She wanted to say sorry, but she also wanted to tell him about she truly loved him and how he was the only person she could think about when she was in the States.

"Wag tayong mag-usap dito. Masyadong maraming tao." Alden said. "Punta nalang tayo sa office ko."

Alden led Maine towards a secret room in the cafe that was actually his office. Upon entering the said room, Maine noticed how everything was in order; from the files he needed for the cafe to the way a small couch was situated opposite a window that had the sunlight seeping through it. He was still the Alden she fell in love with and it comforted her.

She noticed some of the picture frames that stood on his table and she was surprised to see that a memory they shared was still there. A collage of polaroids from the night Alden asked her to be his girlfriend and she gladly said "yes".

Alden was quick to notice that she was looking at it quite intently, so he decided to have it face down.

"Kailan ka dumating?" Alden asked.

"Last month pa." Maine answered. "Gusto sana kitang tawagan, pero hindi ako sigurado kung kaya mo kong kausapin pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari."

Alden was happy that Maine was here, within his reach, but he couldn't deny that seeing her brought back all the pain he felt that night she left him. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, ask how she's been, but the pain was so overwhelming and it stopped him from showing his affection. All he could do was smile a little, smile at how fate had been so cruel with them, but now, it was slowly bringing them back together.

"Akala ko, kaya ko." Alden said. "Akala ko, kung makikita kita, wala na akong mararamdamang sakit. Pero andiyan pa rin eh." He teared up. "Parang kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat. At ang saklap pa, kahit sinaktan mo ako, kahit dinurog mo ang puso ko, mahal pa rin kita."

Though she was hesitant, Maine approached Alden and caressed his face. She was starting to tear up too. "I'm sorry." She said. "I'm sorry na sinaktan kita. Hindi ko ginusto ang lahat ng yun, Alden, maniwala ka." She added. "Naging duwag lang talaga ako noon, nagpadala ako sa takot na baka kung mahalin kita ng sobra, masasaktan lang ako. But I should've known better. Alden, please. Bigyan mo ako ng isa pang pagkakataon na mahalin ka ulit."

"Hindi ganun kadali yun, Maine." Alden had his back towards her.

"Alam ko, pero handa akong gawin ang lahat, para makabawi ako." Maine said, giving him a tight, back hug. "Please, Alden. Mahal kita. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako bumalik sa Pilipinas. Hindi kaya ng konsensiya ko ang ginawa ko sa'yo noon."

Tears kept flowing from Alden's eyes. He's always wanted to hear those words from Maine, but he was still in pain. He couldn't think right.

Situating herself in front of him, Maine caressed Alden's face with both her hands. "Alam kong nasaktan kita, pero alam ko ring may lugar pa rin ako diyan sa puso mo." She said. "Alden, maniwala ka man o sa hindi, mahal na mahal kita."

"Pero bakit ganun.." Alden said. "Kung mahal mo ko, paano mo ko nagawang saktan ng ganun? Alam mo bang muntik na akong magpakamatay?"

"Maine, pagkatapos ng gabing yun, hindi ako napagod sa kakaasa na isang araw, baka bumalik ka, baka magbago ang isip mo at mahalin mo ako ulit. But as the months went by at nalaman kong pumunta ka pala ng States, I needed to be realistic. Na kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, kung desido siyang iwan ka, iiwan ka talaga niya."

"Pero nandito na ko. Hindi na kita iiwan. Hindi na kita sasaktan." Maine gave it her all, trying to convince Alden that she was braver this time around. That she wasn't going to let anything get in the way of her relationship with him. Not even herself.

"Alden, I love you. Please maniwala ka naman sa akin." She didn't care if she was literally pleading for him to believe her, but if this is what she deserved after all the pain she's caused him, she could plead all day.

"Kailangan ko lang sigurong mapag-isa."

When Alden said this, Maine knew she had to let him go. After everything that's happened, she couldn't expect him to be okay right away. She slowly wiped the tears falling from her eyes and nodded.

"Naiintindihan kita." She said. "Sorry for being so pushy. Hindi naman kasi ako ang nasaktan kaya hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga yung pinagdaanan mo o naramdaman mo nung iniwan kita. Pero sana, mapag-isipan mo ang lahat ng ito ng maigi." She added.

"At saka, sana maalala mo din yung sinabi ni Julia Roberts kay Hugh Grant sa Notting Hill," Maine tried to lighten the mood with a line from her favorite movie that seemed to be fitting for her current situation, but ended up shedding even more tears before she said it.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

And just like that, Maine kissed Alden's cheek one last time before heading towards the door. The latter could feel a familiar kind of emptiness fill his heart as he watched her walk away again. He wanted to go after her, but it seemed as if the numbness he was feeling was enough to have his feet glued to the floor.

Before leaving, Maine turned to look at him again, something she wasn't able to do the last time she had walked away from him.

"I love you, Alden." She uttered.