New York Girl (formerly known as Maple Street)

Chapter Eight

I was changing inside. I could feel it, no longer pulled back by the toxic waste that was my past- I was starting to feel almost like my old self again.

Even friends from England noticed the difference- my emails were animated, filled with punchy subject lines and colourful texts. Alex was so pernickety concerning grammar and punctuation and I always had to great take care even when sending a quick text asking him to pick up some milk from the store – he would always give me a certain look once he returned, unable to stop himself from correcting me. ‘It’s not ’your’ it’s ‘you’re’ he’d scold.

He also detested my clumsiness –I was prone to having little accidence here and there, falling over and breaking a bone or two and it seemed such an arduous task for Alex to wait with me while the nurses at the local hospital would bandage me up.

But whether I was stumbling around the house, or the badly laid out concrete on my street there was one thing for certain – my mind was always occupied.

Torn between the logical part of my brain and the perceptions that I knew to be true and just when I was sure all my conclusions were correct.. POOF! I’d completely lose the argument with myself.

And that's how it all started – the confusion I mean.

 Working at Trask had never felt this way before. There were moments of stress and periods of calm – but suddenly going into work had made me jittery.

A place that once seemed like an airing ground for intellectuals and competitive people had   - turned into a battlefield of emotions, filled with non- verbal exchanges, a thick atmosphere and not enough exits, making it seem more like a white knuckle ride instead of work.

The job role itself was the easy part, but facing Ethan Jones everyday- that was a totally different ball game.

'These need to be completed by close of business' said Rachel, throwing down another folder of charts onto my desk.

I stared at the pile in front of me dreading the thought of not being able to make Fozoli’s birthday drinks at Glacier's tonight. She’d be devastated if I cancelled leaving her to deal with her colleagues.

Rachel stormed back to her desk and the thought had occurred to me that she had seemed a little off lately.

Sifting through the endless pile of papers some colour coded, others just thrown sporadically onto the heap I couldn’t help wondering if this was it. A life of spreadsheets and numbers, I had always imagined myself to be so much more creative, I yearned to let it flow but I just wasn’t sure how.

My dad always said I was born to do great things – to add life to the colourless and dull.’ You don’t want to get stuck doing the coffee run all your life Lucy. Leave that to the rats in the race.’

Averting my attention away from the pile for a moment, I looked up and caught Ethan staring right at me. How long had he been doing it? I looked away quickly, hoping the distance between us was enough to stop him from seeing my face turn tomato red.

My thoughts were racing like mad and all I wanted was the ground to swallow me up – to zap me away from the bad feng shei – whose idea was it to have us so close to one another anyway?

 'Lucy,’ snapped Rachel. ‘Can I have a word in private?’ Still flustered from what had just happened I got up from my chair and followed her lead.

A strong apprehension filled my stomach as we made our way to meeting room two.

'I have some concerns.' 

'Concerns?'

'I feel as if you are not with us lately. I know you are going through a messy breakup.'

'No it’s not that.’

'So what is it?’

'I may appear a little distracted but..’

'We need someone that is sharp, efficient.

Her words were unjustified, yes, I had been a little out of it lately, no doubt but lacking sharpness and efficiency was darn right insulting and not to mention untrue.

I was just about to tell her to stick her job when the door opened and Ethan crept in. ‘Sorry to disturb you.’ He said his attention on me only,  ‘But I’ve just noticed I forgot to email you the Bradstreet brief last week.’

For a moment I just stared up at him. ‘It’s fine.’ I replied eventually

‘I’ll send it over to you now.’ He smiled at me closing the door behind him.

I noticed Rachel’s eyebrows were dragged down. ‘That’s weird.’

'What’s weird?’

'He never does that.'

'Does what?'

'Never mind, Lucy, take this as a warning. I need you to pull yourself together and focus. Can you do that?'

Despite what my insides were screaming out at me to do; I just nodded in agreement.

 Eight thirty.

Running up to the entrance at Glaciers, I was met by two burly bouncers manning the door. I quickly flashed my invitation at them - they both moved to the side so I could get in. ’Fozoli, I’m so sorry!’

The overwhelming smell of perfume and heat was overpowering. I shoved a birthday card in Fozoli’s hand. ‘I forgive you.’ She said.

Ripping the envelope at the corners, she pulled out the singing card. Her face lit up and I think me being late had suddenly taken a backburner. ‘Very funny, come and meet my colleagues.’

She led me into the VIP lounge and I was introduced to a bunch of squealing girls.

'So this is Lucy!’ said one of the girls.

Fozoli nodded. ‘Well isn’t she just adorable in that little pleated skirt.’ She went on.

I shot a glance at Fozoli who was already giving me a look of ‘I told you so.‘ ‘You look like you could use a drink.' She smiled.

'You read my mind.’

She began pouring some fizzy wine into one of the wine glasses on the table. ‘Are you okay Lucy? You don't seem yourself.'

'I’m fine, anyway it’s your birthday it’s all about you not me.’

But she wasn’t having any of it.  'I mean it. Something is bothering you I can tell.’

‘It's just Rachel, my Manager, turns out she’s not as nice as I thought and then there's Ethan.'

'Ethan?’

'Oh, he’s nobody, just some guy I work with.’

'He doesn't sound like nobody to me.' 

There she goes again, seeing right into my soul.

I hated it when she did that.