Chapter 4
-Veronica-
After meeting West’s father and attractive younger sister, I was intrigued to see the final member of the Vince clan. I stepped through the front door and was warmly greeted who I could only assume was his mother. Michelle or “Just call me Shelly, honey”. Shelly is where Dhani got for good looks fortune from, Shelly was a slender woman. Even though she claimed to be in her mid-forties, she doesn’t look a day over thirty. Her curly copper colored hair was done in two loosely done braids, she wore a simple white t-shirt and jeans with an apron tied around her waist.
“What a lovely home you have, Shelly.” I said, Westley held out a chair for me. Oh god, they really live up to the Southern-meets-Pacific Northwest hospitality here.
“Thank you very much, darlin’. I have been just dyin’ to ask you, where did you get those boots? They’re precious.” Shelly gushed.
“These old things? They used to belong to my mother, from her days of modeling.” I smiled, wondering what my mother was doing right now.
“Well, they’re just by far the cutest thing I’ve ever saw!” She smiled and hurried into the kitchen.
Ralphy and Max came bustling in the doorway. “Ralphy, stop! My hair was fine before you messed with it. Now it looks like it belongs to one of the muppets.” He ran his fingers through his hair, fixing it so it looked normal.
I cleared my throat and gave them my best ‘behave-or-I’ll-kill-you-while-you-sleep’ look. They both hung their heads while taking off their shoes and coats, I think they got the memo.
“Shelly, baby! Is the supper done yet?” Mr. Maxwell Vince bellowed.
“It would be done faster if you got your ass in here and helped once in a while!” She yelled back.
“Women.” He shook his head and plopped into the chair at the head of the dinning table. Shelly reappeared with tray after tray of steaming hot food. My stomach growled, I didn’t realize that I haven’t eaten since seven this morning, I looked at my watch, it was almost nine.
We all sat down, Shelly next to me, me next to West, West next to Ralph (I’m sure he enjoyed that), Ralph next to Max, Max next to Dhani (they both enjoyed that), and Dhani next to her father (he didn’t enjoy them sitting together).
At first I thought I was hallucinating: all of the food was either corn, or made mainly from corn. Corn on the cob, corn bread, corn pudding, corn soup, corn salad, corn chips, and - was I seeing this correctly? - corn and black bean salsa.
West looked absolutely ecstatic to see this plethora of corn-based food in front of him. He grabbed a fistful of the corn chips and put them on his plate.
Shelly came walking out, holding a covered platter. “Oops, I almost forgot about this!” She lifts up the cover and I see Maxwell, Westley, and Dhani’s faces all light up like the Fourth of July. “Roasted corn covered in chili with lime juice and salt,” they all say together, like it was a chant or something.
I look over to Max and Ralph. Max looks as if he’s about to throw up and Ralph just seems plain interested in what is placed in front of him. He takes a big whiff. “Mrs. Michelle Vince, what exactly is this?”
She chortles. “Oh, just try it dearie. It’s my special recipe.”
Ralph slowly takes a cob of corn out of the tray, our Ralph was always the one to try new things, he’s a born Andrew Zimmern.
“Do I need to put anything else on it?”
“Nope. All you need is already there.” answered Dhani, putting a cob of corn on her own plate.
“Well, here goes nothing.” I could hear and see Ralphy gulp. He took the ends of the cob and took a big chunk out. By the way he was chewing you could tell he was recording the tastes in his internal diary, he swallowed and gently set down the cob. Then quietly he got up from the chair and walked out the door. We all paused then suddenly we heard him yell “OH MY GOD. THAT THING IS THE BEST FUCKING FOOD I EVER TASTED. HOLY SHIT.” Another pause. He walked back in the house, sat down and resumed eating his, according to him, delicious creation.
That’s pretty much how the rest of dinner went about. Throughout the meal, Ralph and I were mixing and matching with the different corn foods, but I decided anything that Shelly makes is pure gold. Ralph and I wouldn’t stop complimenting her. Max didn’t really say anything throughout the dinner, but I did seem him playing footsie with Dhani. I would have to get used to that.
After dinner, the family and us all went into their living room, where Maxwell only sat down for a second when Dhani said, “Hey! It’s that time of the month again...”
West rolled his eyes, “Dhani, I already told you, we don’t want to hear about that.”
She shoves him. “No! Its the time of the month when we go to karaoke! Mom always makes her corn meal when we go out and do that!”
“Well,” West begins, “I don’t know if our new friends would like going to-”
“ARE YOU JOKING?!” Ralph exclaims. “WE LOVE KARAOKE!” He laughs in reminiscent of good karaoke memories. “Once you get Max drunk, he sure is one hell of a good-”
“I’ve never done karaoke,” Max chimes in. Why was he being such a Negative Nelly?
But Ralph was right; give Max a few drinks and he’ll be singing, “Do You Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart sooner than he’d drink another shot.
“I think that its a great idea,” I smile, cuddling up next to West. “Why don’t we go?”
“We can’t go, honey,” Maxwell said, loosening his belt. “But, I know this minor-friendly karaoke place that the five of them can go.”
Shelly gives him a look. “‘Minor-friendly’ karaoke place, as in a karaoke place where they let minors drink?”
“Of course not!” Maxwell replies quickly. He gives a ‘you-know-what-I-really-mean’ wink to Westley and me. Westley chuckles.
“Yes, why don’t we go?” West says, pushing himself off of the couch.
“I’m so excited! WOO!” Ralph yell, throwing his arms into the air. “Let’s go not get wasted!”
And those were the first words said of the night that resulted in my worst hangover ever.
