Chapter SEVEN.
--Max--
I will admit, it is very embarrassing to go dancing in a hotel fountain in nothing but a tutu, but its even MORE embarrassing when you’re dancing to the song, “I’m too sexy.”
Ralph sure knows how to make things awkward.
“DANCE PRETTY BOY, DANCE!” He yells out as I do the sprinkler. I get down in the water and pull some, “You Can’t Touch This” MC Hammer moves.
At this point my tutu is completely soaked, but I don’t pay attention. There go some footloose moves. God, I love that movie.
“C’MON SHOW OFF THOSE SEXY MUSCLES TO THE LADIES!”
Ralph never fails to be my wing-man. Even in the weirdest situations.
The song ends and changes to, “It’s Raining Men.”
I think he prepared this playlist ahead of time.
Well, it HAS happened more than once.
At this point I’ve pulled off someone my greatest dance moves - the worm, the robot, the funky chicken; it was time to bring out the big guns. Literally.
“RALPH! YOU KNOW WHICH SONG!” I yell as I do the Charleston.
He gives a thumbs up and scrolls through his iPod. Suddenly, a familiar bass line echos through the main entrance of the hotel.
I almost forgot we were in public.
I pull of some great moves, some ballet stuff that I learned last year, and just plain weird stuff that I see at my high school dances.
When the Chorus comes along, I grabbed both Veronica and Dhani and I yelled it out. “YEAH YOU! SHOOK ME ALLLLL NIIIIGHT LONG!”
I was hoping the girls were going to sing along with me, but they were just staring at me. Ralph was cracking up. What was going on?
Then, I realize it.
I look down, and the tutu is off. OFF. NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
Angus Young belts out another verse, but I can’t bear to listen anymore.
Ralph screams, “BABY YOU CAN SHAKE ME ALL NIGHT LONG IF YOU WANT!” He is dying of laughter at this point. “HOT DAMN!”
This has just gone from bad to worse.
But, it just gets even more terrible.
Veronica looks at me with a straight face and says, “Westley is bigger.”
NOOOOOO!
Dhani looks at Veronica. “Wow, I really needed to know that.”
Ralph, standing from the sidelines yells, “MAX! It gets better! I’M bigger than you!”
Well, now that’s just cruel.
In a desperate attempt to get out of there, I search around the fountain for my pink tutu.
An old lady walks by the fountain. “It’s not use, boy. Might as well cover up with that beanie of yours.” She looks at Mr. Max. She laughs and walks away.
SHE LAUGHS!
I look at Veronica. “Do NOT cover your package with my homemade hat. We will have to burn it if you do.”
I sigh and run over to Ralph, letting it all hang as I sprint. “Ralph!” I yell in his ear. “Give me the towel!”
Ralph gives me his, “I-just-watched-porn” smile. Oh great.
