Stole My Heart (A Ziall and Larry Love Story)

Chapter 20 - Monster

*Author's Note*

1,000 READS!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!! AAAAAAAGGGGH!! ASDFGHJKL!! It might not seem like a lot to some people but for me it's a big deal. Thank you everyone! I also have 69 votes now which I think is fantastic and 20 followers which is just wow. I'm not sure if I like this chapter and I don't think it does justice considering I just reached 1,000 reads and then write this? I just, I don't know, tell me what you think in the comments below please. Well anyway, please continue to read, vote, comment, review, follow and most of all enjoy. I want to dedicate this chapter to a specific follower again before I go back to dedicating chapters to all my followers and this person is xAustralianKiss. She is a great writer (if you haven't already make sure you check out the train and its sequel which has only recently started, you won't regret it) and she has been a big help to me. So thank you for that Leticia. Right, I think that's everything. Thanks again everyone, and thank you Leticia. 1,000 reads :D - Scott xx

Niall's POV

Ouch. Well, that hurt. I can't believe Liam just completely flipped like that. It's really not like him at all. I can't help but feel that there may have been some truth in his malicious words though. Maybe I really should stop relying on him so much. And about looking closer to home when dealing with my problems? He's definitely right about. My problems aren't his problems and I need to sort them out myself. And to do that, first things first I have to talk to Zayn.

Zayn's POV

I wince at the pleasurable pain as the blade cuts deep in to my skin again. Both of my arms are covered in multiple cuts of different sizes criss-crossing over each other, some are merely faded scars, others more fresh, a handful still bleeding. The blood trickles onto the bathroom floor as I dig the blade in deep near my hand and slowly drag it up along my skin to my elbow. It feels good. I count my recent additions making sure there is the correct number. 1. To help cope with Louis in a coma. 2. For Harry not loving me. 3. For mistreating Niall. 4. For letting my family down. 5. For hating my family. 6. For loving Harry. 7. Because I miss Beth. 8. For being so fucked up. 9. Because I hate the fact that I cut. And the tenth and biggest cut for being a faggot. A disgusting, fucked up, revolting, unloved little faggot.

After a minute of stroking my new cuts and pressing down to allow the pain to continue the blood finally stops running, the pain subsides and the pleasurable feeling of happiness is replaced by a wave of disgust. I wash away the blood from my arms and the floor with an old towel as tears begin rolling down my cheeks for what must be the tenth time today. How do I even have any tears left? I stand up and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look awful. My eyes are bright red and sunken in my face from a great deal of tears and a great lack of sleep. My hair is scruffy and all over my face, unwashed and not quiffed because why should I bother? My chin has a thick line of stubble which I don't bother to shave. This is not Zayn Malik from One Direction looking at me. It's Zayn Malik, the screwed up gay kid that nobody could ever love.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and jumped. I stood still in silence hoping that whoever it was would just go away.

“Zayn, I know you're in there. We need to talk. You can't keep ignoring me forever. I'll stay here all day and all night if I have to. You'll need to leave your room at some point so you might as well just open the door now.”

I inwardly groaned. Niall, typical. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever and he's right we should talk. I quickly grabbed one of my varsity jackets and stretched the sleeves as much as possible. I don't want Niall to see my cuts. I stuck a few bracelets on my wrists for good measure and bundled the stained towel up in a heap and shoved it in the bin. Quickly washing my face to hide the fact I'd been crying I gave myself and my room a once over before closing the bathroom door and opening my bedroom door to see Niall standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his face.