Chapter Two~
It had all been darkness.
He couldn't remember anything. He couldn't feel anything either. His chest was an empty cavity of air, and he saw nothing but black. It surrounded him like an embrace, even though it didn't always feel that friendly; it was like a blanket wrapped around his entire body, keeping him warm and safe until it was ready to pull itself tight and suffocate him.
He couldn't remember where he came from, what had happened, or how he got there.
He couldn't even remember his own name.
He tried sometimes – but there was nothing. His mind was a blank slate, as if all of his memories had been rubbed away by the darkness. He knew that there should be something. Sometimes his heart would tremble and begin to beat in his chest at alarming rates, while his head would start to ache terribly, and he knew that he was trying to remember. It was always one voice he heard, calling out to him in the darkness. It would whisper to him softly, sometimes with fondness, and other times mixed with laughter. Once in a while it would call out a name (one that might have been his if he could remember), and on these few occasions the voice didn't sound so happy.
It sounded like a sob.
A broken, defeated cough at the start, and then a soft whine as it faded out. He always wanted to reach out and find the source of his company, for even though he did not know who it was, he felt as though he knew them. But his limbs never moved, no matter how hard he tried.
One time, he could have sworn he saw something – it was brief, among the sound of stranger's sobs, but it was there. The image had lit up the dark for only a few seconds, yet it was such a moving sight that he wasn't able to forget it.
It was a face; a pair of blue eyes on a stretch of soft, pale skin, and a crooked pink smile that made the muscles in his abdomen squeeze.
He clung to the memory with all the strength that he had, but the darkness that surrounded him didn't try to take it away. He felt its presence around him as if it was alive, curious and idle while it cloaked him.
Why are you doing this? He wanted to ask, but his lips didn't work. His whole body felt numb, as if it didn't exist. Somehow, though, he knew the darkness could understand. It had seeped into his brain to keep him from remembering, had separated his mind from his body, so surely it could hear his thoughts.
Who am I? Where am I? Why do you keep me here?
The darkness never answered, so he focused his mind on the one memory he had found, that for some reason, he had been allowed to keep.
It was the smile that struck him the most. It was delicate, as if the owner wasn't aware that it had crept onto their face, and the thick, pink lips came together lightly to form a few words. The smile looked sad – no, not sad – it looked utterly miserable, and yet defiant and hopeful all at the same time. The only single word that he could come up with to describe it was 'heartbreaking'.
He wanted to cover his hand over it. The completely defeated quiver of the lower lip, the hopeful upturn of the corners, the pleading words that were mutely formed on a desperate tongue – it was all too much for him. He felt the urge to smack the person, to tell them that everything would be okay and to stop smiling at him so hopelessly, like he was their whole world falling apart.
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From the Other Side
FanfictionMerlin coughed, his throat suddenly scratchier than the ancient scarf that was wrapped around his neck. He wasn't sure what he was seeing. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He couldn't even be sure that he was breathing; that he was awake, alert...