You're my moon

3

Jack Howard was no stranger to depression, he was an old friend lurking, waiting to strike. Jack was used to it by now. He got depressed at thirteen, he wanted to die, he tried to die, then Dean came along.

He wasn't immediately better, that's not how depression works, but eventually he stopped wishing he were dead and he smiled more. He was clean, until about 2 months ago when Dean got a girlfriend, Marie.

He hated Marie. He smiled when Dean brought her up and he was always polite, but when he met her Jack felt like he was dying. They went to a mall together Dean kept looking at Jack like a son trying to get his dad's approval, it was cute and Jack felt awful. Dean was telling the story of how they met at a music store, she was wearing a panic! at the disco shirt and he couldn't help but complement it. Jack felt sick. When he got back to his flat he vomited, that was their band. And Dean distanced himself suddenly everything he did Marie did too. Jack hated himself it was his fault. He should have asked him out after high school he should have been his boyfriend the day he moved out. He should have been proud of who he is. He should have told Dean the reason they weren't dating. He should have stopped Dean from dating Marie. And he never should have gotten to the point where he cut again. He shouldn't have missed it, he shouldn't have started thinking about death again.

He'd be lying if he said Marie wasn't the main reason he had been so angry last week. But he called her his moon( it was a play on northern downpour) and Jack couldn't stand it. He was supposed to be Brendon Urie and Dean was supposed to be his moon, Dean was supposed to be Ryan Ross. How did they get here. How did they grow apart.

•*•*•*•

Jack had gotten take away  for every meal and had watched back to the future 'too many times' (according to Daniel, Ciaran however quite enjoyed it) he had played Don Broco on loop for the past 2 hours and was currently staring at a picture of Dean while trying not too cry.

"He's driving me crazy, I love Jack Howard but he needs to get out of the house he needs to and live again" Daniel J Layton was currently whisper yelling at Ciaran one room over.

"Give him a break he's 23 and his longest friendship just ended. He needs time" Ciaran assured his best friend.

"I'm worried about him he barely leaves his room"

Ciaran sighed, he knew what dan was worried about "I have a plan"

After much arguing and groans on jacks part he took a shower for the first time in two days. Once the water was running Ciaran went into jacks room and began snooping, and when he opened the bed side table he wished he hadn't.

"Did you find anything" Daniel asked, hoping he was wrong.

Ciaran pulled out the small bag he had found inside were three small blades, that looked like they were torn out of pencil sharpeners, covered in rust and dried blood. Daniels face contorted in horror and nausea.

Daniel went up to his room crying, Ciaran sighed and went to console his sobbing flat mate.

•*•*•*•

The shower was cold and his arms and legs were stinging where his skin had been recently reopened. Jack looked at his reflection and felt sick. He had bags under his red eyes and his hair fell flat. He thought back 6 years ago when he used to wear his hair like this, before the fame before the youtuber friends back when it was Jack and Dean against the world. He left his hair flat, which is something he never would have done 3 months ago. But it felt good. You can barely tell Jacks ears used to be pierced, something that used to mean so much to him, now forgotten. Who was the ghost in the mirror? Who was Jack
Howard? He needed a drink; he wanted to cut.

He put on jeans and a Tshirt and went straight to his bedroom. He opened his drawer: empty. Bad sign. One thought coursed through his head refusing to be ignored: they found the blades

Hey so sorry I haven't updated a lot, I'm not doing to well academically and I've been neglecting everything. I'm trying to update more xxx