You're my moon

5

When your two best friends look at you like your a kicked puppy, you start to feel worthless. When you grab cornflakes you feel the pitiful stare. When you put on back to the future you feel it. Jack was sick of it he wasn't an abused cat he was an adult who wanted to feel pain.

Daniel and Ciaran confronted Jack at dinner the night after they found the blades.

"Hey guys" jack said a bit awkwardly knowing they knew

Ciaran cleared his throat before starting "hey jack, anything new or interest-"

"Jack we know you're self harming we went through your stuff and I know it's wrong but we're worried" Dan said in one breathe cutting Ciaran off.

"Look guys I appreciate you guys for caring but can you please give my blades back I need them"

"Jack we're your friends and we're worried about you, you can't expect us to just let this go," Ciaran liked to think he was a chaotic neutral most of the times, but this was something he cared about because deep down Jack was one of his best friends and he couldn't stand the the thought of him hurting himself.

"Dan, Ciaran, I appreciate you for caring but I'm an adult and I would appreciate my property being returned. If I want to cut myself, I can."

Jack knew they wouldn't understand they are great people. They don't deserve to cut themselves like me I do.

"Can you just tell us why you're doing this Jack?" Dan was 99% sure he knew why but he asked anyway hoping he could talk to Jack about it instead of Jack's current alternative.

"Because I bloody fucking deserve it" Jack stared at his plate of half eaten chicken refusing to look his housemates in the eyes.

Ciaran felt sick. He mumbled, "you don't deserve it Jack"

"Yes I fucking do," he snapped, "I lost my best friend. I broke Dean's damn heart. I was so scared of what everyone else would think, that I never said I love you too. I lost my best damn friend because I'm a coward."

Jack left the kitchen not wanting to know the aftermath of what he'd said.

"Jack" Daniel called after him, but he knew Jack wasn't going to leave his room.

"Dan, what do you think he meant by that?" Ciaran's voice was quiet, quieter than his voice normally is.

"I think Jack is in love with Dean, and I think that scares him," and Dan understood that feeling, lord knows he and Ciaran had had some close calls but he never broke anyone's heart that bad.

"What do you think happened,"

"Remember the fight we overheard. I think it had more layers than we're aware,"

"I'm going to talk to him"

"Ciaran leave him alone, he's already upset,"

"Last time we left him alone he cut, I'm not letting that happen again"

•*•*•

"Will you just leave me alone" Ciaran kept knocking, "forget I said anything."

"Jack let me in we need to talk"

"No, Ciaran, it's my life I'll fuck it up if I want to"

"Jack" Ciaran's voice was breaking but he had to do something, right?

•*•*•

"Hey Bertie this is Ciaran, Ciaran O'Brien we need to talk,"