Aaliyah~
2 days later
How do you get someone out of your head? Especially at night when the room is completely silent, leaving you to think of the things you put off when you had something to do.
Now I have nothing to do.
I wish I would've just kissed him. Maybe he would be in my bed instead of his own. These regrets wouldn't be in my head and I wouldn't feel the need to go to his house.
Just friends.
If I could just see him one last time. I know I said I didn't want to, but I just want to apologize. I don't want to ruin anything. I had the best time that night, the best night I've had in so long.
And all I can tell myself is that I don't know him well enough to have these feelings. But if I don't, then why are they there? Why is there a knot in my chest just thinking of him?
I don't care anymore.
There was something between us and if I want to deny it and call it being 'just friends', I'd be an absolute idiot.
I rip the comforter off of my body and throw some slippers on. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror.
"Are you really about to do this?" I lean on the counter. I nod my head. I am going to do this. No backing out.
I go into Riley's room and try not to wake her up as I take her outside. I've decided that I'll be hiring a housemaid. I can't keep bringing Riley along in the middle of the night. Especially for things like this. Although, I hope things like this don't happen ever again. I stand outside, looking around.
What am I doing? I don't even have a car. It's the middle of the night. Who can I call? I pull out my cellphone and call Lola hoping she answers.
"Aaliyah? Is something wrong?" A tired voice sounds over the phone. I shake my head although I know she can't see me. I run a hand through my hair, knowing that she's probably not too happy.
"No. Something came up, and I know it's late-"
"Say no more. I'll be over in five." Her sweet tone surprises me and I thank god for people like Lola, hurrying inside. Riley starts to wake up, and slow my walk. I flip through the phonebook and call a taxi. I grab my wallet and shove it in my pockets.
I pace back and forth waiting for Lola to come. I jump at the sound of quiet knocking at the door, running down the stairs to open it and pulling Lola in for a hug. "You're the best. I'll pay you triple."
"Don't pay me anything." I pull away and shake my head.
"I have to. It's so late and-"
"Go." I smile and the taxi honks outside of my house. I kiss her cheek and run outside. The car waits inside and I hop in and shut the car door, quickly telling him the address.
What am I going to do when I get there? What am I going to say to explain why I'm there so late? What if I can't speak at all?
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and I can't stop smiling. I can't wait to see him. But another part of me is scared to explain everything to him.
Theo, I know it's early in our friendship, but I have this gut wrenching feeling that it could be more. Tell me you feel the same.
We finally stop at his house and I pay the driver and get out of the car. He drives away, and now I'm wishing I was home in my bed. But I can't just walk home. I live too far for that.
I look up at his huge house and see that the only light on is what I believe to be his room. He might be awake. But there is the possibility that that's not his room and he left a light on in a different room.
You're stalling.
I shake my head and walk up to his front door and raise my hand to knock. My smile fades and I let my hand fall to my sides. I can't do this. Who did I think I was in that split second of delusion?
And then without a second thought I run. I run away from the house that could change my life. I run away from the only man that has made me happy in a while.
I don't know how I'm going to make it home. His house is so far away from mine. I turn the corner and see the worst possible thing I could ever see.
His car.
His headlights shine on me, and I freeze. I stop running and turn around, hoping he didn't see my face. I turn the corner and his car slows down.
Please no.
When his car passes me I look over, and I lied. His car passing isn't the worst thing that could happen. Looking over was the worst thing, because I see a woman in there with him, he looks over and our eyes lock.
I can't stop looking. Who's in there with him? Just another girl that he calls beautiful? Does he make her feel the way he made me feel that night and every day I saw him before? Or does he treat her better?
A shaky breath escapes my lips and I start running. I don't care how long it takes me, I'm going to run until my feet can't take it anymore, and my lungs burn so much that it's hard to breathe.
And to think I was going over there to.. to.. Kiss him. I could never kiss him. Why would I actually think that he wanted to kiss me? He's a famous, handsome actor that could get any woman he wants.
I was stupid to think he would even begin to like me. It was a friendly outing. I've barely given him a chance to really get to know me, or for me to get to know him, and I'm already expecting him to at least have the little feelings I have for him.
I'm already expecting him to want to choose me. And that's not fair.
And that's my fault.
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