Mythology One Shots

Toxic Waste

I gag as I clean Percy's litter box the male ferret hopping around my feet. I take a step back from his large "bachelor pad"-as I call it- and take in a large gulp of air.

"Gods Percy! The scent of your poop is strong enough to knock out a grown man!"

I say before holding my breath and picking up some more poop and putting it in the bag I'm holding. Percy just dooks and attacks my feet which causes them to go stif. I look down at him and scowl,

"What have I told you about doing that you little turd."

I nudge him away with my left foot, towards his toys scattered across my bedroom floor before I turn my attention back to the task at hand. I quickly finish cleaning his litter box and tie up the bag filled with the toxic waste. I toss the bag gently to the carpeted floor. How can something so small and cute create something so ugly and gross? I turn around and watch as Percy hops around doing a war dance while looking at his stuffed moose.

I shake my head and open the large bin to my right. I change my disposable rubber gloves and begin grabbing Percy's pellet litter from the bin. I take a deep breath and almost jump with joy when I realize the poop smell is almost gone. I finish putting in his clean litter and close his cage door once I'm done.

Percy perks up and his tail wags when I kneel down to wiggle my finger at him, his head peeking out of his 15 foot plastic tunnel. I smile. I love the little guy with all my heart even if he does have the worst smelling poops and farts in history. The scent even worse than my older brothers farts which says something about how bad Percy's gas really is. I stand back up just as he jumps to nip at my fingers. I pick up the bag o'poop but jump when I feel arms wrap around my midsection.

"Dionysus what have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?"

I turnaround to face the wine God also known as my boyfriend. He grins and presses a kiss to my lips. I frown pulling away from him.

"Sorry amor. I couldn't resist. You know how I like to surprise people every once in a while."

He replies pushing back a lock of dark brown hair behind his ear. I look up at his hair and pull at the ends of it.

"You need a haircut."

I state and he groans head falling down into my neck.

"I know everyone keeps telling me! My siblings, dad, gods even some of my workers mentioned it!"

He mumbles this into my neck and wraps his arms around me again causing me to drop the bag of waste. I look down and curse as it opens up. Dionysus' head perks up and he scrunches up his nose.

"What in the name of Zeus is that horrible smell?"

I glare at him and wiggle out of his grip to kneel down to pick up Percy's poop again. Now I'm going to need to disinfect my carpet all thanks to my lovely boyfriend. Percy stops wrestling with his toy moose and comes over to investigate. His nose twitches as his sniffles the clumps of brown feces. He scrunches up his nose and hops away to return to his antics.

I snort. Even the one who created the toxic waste hates the smell. I glare up at my brunette boyfriend. He looks at the brown clumps disgusted before he steps a good two feet away from me and the mess he caused.

"Excuse but where do you think your going?"

Dionysus' green eyes narrow at me and he shakes his head. Guess he already knows what I want him to do.

"No. No way. I am not picking that up."

I stand up and grab a pair of gloves before marching towards him, side stepping the feces. I look up at him and hold out the blue rubber gloves.

"You made this mess. Now clean it."

He looks down at me looking determined,

"No. Technically he-" He pauses to point at my small furry companion, "-made this mess."

I nod, "Which I had cleaned up and was about to be ridden of before you made me drop the bag."

I yank his hands towards me and begin shoving on the gloves,

"Now your going to clean up this mess to get rid of the horrid smell while I take Percy to the living room to play. Got it?"

I finish putting the blue rubber on his hands and cross my arms over my chest. We having a staring contest while Percy hops around our feet, nipping at my boyfriends expensive loafers every once in awhile. Finally the wine God looks down in defeat and I smirk happily.

"Now have fun and make sure to use the bottle of carpet cleaner and disinfectant I have in that blue box under cage once your done picking up."

I pick up Percy and he licks my nose as I hold him close to my chest and neck.

"Percy and I will be waiting for you in the living room. Once your done we can go out to eat some dinner. Sound good?"

I tilt my head to the side and adjust the squirming ferret in my arms.

"But love, I'm wearing my suit for work right now you can't possibly think I would clean in this do you?"

My brunette winery owning boyfriend says looking at me pleadingly. I smirk and open one of my drawers. I pull out a t-shirt and an old pair of ripped jeans. Both articles of clothing my older brother gave to me.

I toss them at him and point to the door leading to the connecting bathroom.

"Now go change and hurry up. I'm getting hungry!"

I leave my room Percy in hand and make my way to the living room. I set him down in his play pen and turn on the television. I channel surf but decide to watch Tree House Masters in the end.

I hear a door opening and then closing a couple of minutes later. I sit comfortably on my couch and laugh when I hear a male voice yell out,

"Oh my Gods! My nose! This smells worse than a whole dairy farm!"

It's silent for another two minutes before the God yells out again,

"Holy Hades! I think I'm going to be sick!"

I laugh even louder at that and look over at Percy. He looks up at me and war dances. He happily hops around as we listen to the loud cry's of disgust coming from my bedroom.

A/n: inspired by my experience with my own ferret who's name is also Percy and cuts some horrible cheese.