Stairway to Her Heart #Wattys2017

IX

(Winter is on the multimedia section. ⇧⇧⇧)

"And sometimes her heart felt tormented: full of pain; as though another breathe may burst it; for she loved others too much, too deeply and sometimes this was much too much for her heart to bear." ~Darrielle Cresswell

*Winter Woods*

"Hey Mom, good morning." I sat beside my mom's gravestone.

I wiped the fallen leaves on her gravestone and put the pink flowers beside it.

I temporarily wore my smile and removed the loneliness for a while.

This is the usual me whenever I want to check on Mom. A good pretender may be, but because she made me promise to smile often, I can only stretch my lips everytime I visit her.

Nahh, maybe I am a great pretender.

"My breakfast for today are cookies and a glass of milk. And, that's not just a cookie, but Dad baked those cookies for me!" I said in a happy tone. "If only you could taste Dad's cookies for sure you'll love it too." I smiled as I touched her written name on the gravestone.

"I made it as my daily breakfast." I let out a soft laugh. "I'm really saving those cookies." Me and Dad y not get along but still he's my Dad and I still love him.

"I know that you would be shock because of Dad's expertise in the kitchen." I forced a smile, I know anytime soon I will cry again but I fought those.

"Probably you won't hear me now, are you happy now, wherever you are Mom?" I stared at the ocean blue sky for a while. "I remember you told me, when I was still a kid, there is a place called heaven." I tried to reminisce the moments we had together and my stomach tied a tight knot again.

*FLASHBACK 15 YEARS AGO*

Masayang pinapanood ng batang si Winter ang kanyang kanyang mommy na nagbi-bake ng cookies. Katatapos lang kasi ng piano lesson nila at nakagawian na nilang kumain ng cookies na ang mommy Zandra niya ang nagbi-bake bilang meryenda nila.

"Anak, sandali na lang 'to ha, maghintay lang tayo ng kaunti at malapit ng ma-bake yung cookies." Masayang sabi sakanya ng kanyang mommy.

"Yehey, I can't wait to eat those yummy cookies mom!" Magiliw na tugon ng pitong taong gulang na si Winter. Baghagya pa niyang isinu-swing ang kanyang maliliit na paa sa upuan at malapad ang ngiti na nakatitig sa oven.

"Anak, pag tayo ang magkasama. Dapat tagalog ka mag-speak ok? Para mas matuto ka pa. At mas maintindihan ka ng mga magiging kaibigan mo pag umuwi tayo ng Pinas." Marahang paalala ng mommy ni Winter habang hinihimas nito ang kanyang mahaba at itim na buhok na nakatirintas pa. "But -- Pe-pero Mommy ang har-hirap po kasi mag-speak ng tagalog eh. And I don't have friends pa po." Ngumuso pa ang batang si Winter kaya mas naaninag pa ang kanyang mapupulang labi na halos kasing kulay na yata ng hinog na kamatis. "Why do I have to learn tagalog pa kasi mommy?"

Nakangiting pinagmasdan ng kanyang mommy si Winter na prenteng nakaupo at naka-cross arm pa habang tinatanong siya. Yumuko ng kaunti si Zandra upang pumantay sa lebel ng mukha ng kanyang anak. "Dahil si Mommy ay Filipina anak. Therefore, tagalog ang language ni mommy." Ngumiti siya at pilit inaayos ang nakakunot na noo ng bata. "Isa pa, doon na rin tayo titira sa Pilipinas for good anak. Pagkatapos mo ng highschool pag big girl ka na, doon na tayo titira." Nakangiting pagpapaliwanag pa ni Zandra sa anak. "Tsaka lahat ng Pilipino, gaya ko, ay tagalog magsalita anak. Mano-nosebleed sila sayo niyan anak pag palagi kang nag-english." Tumawa pa ng kaunti si Zandra.