Don't look back

10. My Only Deep Secret

I have to convince my little sister who is still on planet earth to commit suicide(this part is extreme so if you are easily triggered do not read ..... this is based on what actually happened to Sophie's little sister 2 months after Sophie's death). If you have had thoughts about suicide then you know how your brain and mind feels during this period of time. Now, because I'm in hell I have the power to manipulate peoples conscious minds and make the do things that, lets just say, may not be the nicest things for people to do.  I looked upon my little sister and I seen what was going on inside her head (btw her name is Dina ). She was having extremely terrible thoughts and dreams. When I saw all of this I was wondering " Is it because I'm present or is it because my death was too much for my poor mlittle sis to handle at such a young age?". My little sister is only 11 years of age. All of her thoughts and dreams confused me. She seemed to be thinking I killed myself for all the wrong reasons. She seemed to think I killed myself because of her. The truth is I killed myself because............I was raped and got bullied because of this. I have never told anyone about this but its true. I didn't tell anyone this because I knew if I did that no on would believe me and little did I know someone found my diary and it spread around the whole school within a week. I later on found my diary in the girls school bathroom with my confession about the rape and also my suicide thoughts pages missing out of it. They had taken the pages as evidence that they were telling the truth. I found these pages stuck on the outside of my front door at home. luckily I found them before my mam came home and saw them. The worst things about all of this was who I was raped by. I was raped my  19 year old brother. A month later I took my life and I decided to greet death. I eventually put the real reason why I did what I did but she didn't seem to believe it...............................

I'm so sorry but I cannot write anymore for the moment .. I have officially broken yet again... but please vote for it and that will let me know if you want me to continue..... thank you soooo much...love.............LIAxxx