Genderfluid (Muke)

Chapter 1

It was Friday and I was at Luke's, yet again, not so surprisingly. I was having a tough day, to say the least, and because Luke is the actual best friend in the entire world, he had decided we would have a sleepover. I sat on his bed, tugging at my hair wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, feeling as though I was going to explode. "Michael, it's okay love, wear whatever you want, wear boxers and a bra, wear panties, wear absolutely nothing, it doesn't matter. Clothes are just material, they don't define you and if right now you're not so sure how to define yourself, don't. You never have to label yourself. Ever. Let's just get into bed and have a cuddle and a chat. That sound good?" Luke asked quietly, wrapping his arm around my waist. I simply nodded, not trusting myself to speak without bursting into tears. I hated this sometimes, I really did. Not knowing who exactly you are - even for a short amount of time - is terrifying and makes you feel like maybe what you are, is wrong. I know this isn't true however as Luke always reassures me and takes care of me in my fragile state of mind. I loved him for that. Along with many other reasons. He's just an overall amazing guy and I'm so lucky to have him, especially in moments like this.

I slid slowly under the covers after deciding to change into women's boxer shorts, the closest I could get to a happy medium. Almost immediately I felt Luke's arms wrap tenderly around my waist, pulling me against him as he pressed a soft kiss to my hair, making my heart rate speed up ever so slightly. I turned over in his arms to face him, muttering a small "Thank you" wanting him to know that despite the fact that I was struggling with my identity and confidence, thus not being very good company, I did appreciate what he was doing for me. "I'm always going to be here for you Michael, you know that. No matter what. I don't care if you identify as a fucking door or as nothing at all, all I care about is that you're happy and by my side because I never want to lose you Michael I get scared when you get anxious and unhappy in your body and mind but I know you can make it through every time and come out the other side an even better person. You're phenomenonal, Michael, you really are and I truly admire you."
Luke's short speech left me breathless, uncertain of what to say but incredibly happy. I kissed his cheek, hoping he understood that I was grateful but didn't quite feel like speaking. Nuzzling closer into his arms, I shut my eyes, tired after such a long day and let out a satisfied sigh as I felt Luke pull me closer.

I awoke as Luke's alarm blared an annoying, almost incessant generic tune. Flailing my arm blindly to the side, I attempted to shut it off but instead managed to fall off the bed, taking both the blankets and Luke with me. "What the.. " I heard Luke mumble in his half asleep state, looking at me in confusion as I successfully stopped the alarm and did a short happy dance, celebrating my achievement. Luke rolled his eyes, not even bothering to ask what had happened and instead laying his head against the floor, shutting his eyes and willing sleep to take him back. "Ah ah ah, no Lukey you promised you would make me pancakes for breakfast so up you get!" I giggled, hitting him with the edge of the blanket and laughing as he sighed dramatically, getting up and trudging towards the kitchen.

Breakfast was delicious. Luke and I decided we would go to the park afterwards so I then got dressed, putting on a pair of boxers, jeans and one of Luke's t-shirts along with my black converse. Just as I finished getting ready, Luke walked back into the room, smiling at me before saying "You look hot, dude" making my heart race as I tried to hide my blush. It wasn't long before he was ready also and we began to walk to our destination. It was cold, freezing really, resulting in the idiot who forgot his coat (me) almost getting frostbite before Luke noticed and gave me his jacket despite my protests. Soon, we were at the park which was surprisingly devoid of children, resulting in the two of us racing towards the swings. I won, obviously. We stayed there for what seemed like hours, talking about everything and anything. I loved these days. The ones where we just spent time with each other. I always felt comfortable around Luke and I was grateful for that.

Luke's POV

I admired Michael as we walked home, our hands interlaced (to keep us warm, obviously). He looked great. He always did actually. Truth is, I really like him. We've known each other for some long and I just completely adore him and it was getting to the point where I actually wanted to tell him because I was kind of miserable hiding it from him, plus, I really wanted to kiss him. I really did. With this in mind as I looked over at Michael, sending him a small smile, I decided tonight would be the night I would tell him.