To start something new and fresh with someone else is like trying to erase all of the good times we had. The way my eyes would roll when ever you would make some silly remark about my goals that I aspired for.
The way your smirk grew knowing that I was pudding in your hand whenever you winked at me. It's as if you want me to try to take back all of the feelings and lock them up. Never to be spoken of again. Locked up in a box, and I refuse to do that.
So I refuse to start something with someone that is not you, because believe it or not the only reason you still have me wrapped around your finger is not because I can't unwrap myself from there.
It is just that I know once I am unwrapped I will miss every ounce of your body. The way the goosebumps would become evident on my skin when you slightly touched it.
The way something deep within me would ignite every time we stared at each other. My desire to be with you was never sexually, and it never will be.
For one I find no interest in that sort of thing. I was not in it for that. I was in it for the little things you would do that made me want to be around you every second of the day.
The way you would flatter me with compliments, the way you protected me against the world, and of course who could forget the fireworks.
Those amazing things that appeared every time you said my name in a very teasing way. That I truly loved.
That is why I can not, at all, start new. You were my adventure, my trip to paradise, every thing a girl would every want.
But of course it all had to come to an end. I had to get down from my high.
And so I am afraid I won't be able to feel the fire, the sparks, the goosebumps, the little details. That is why I don't start anew.
Even though you beg me to move on I simply can not.
