Becoming Superman

Super Heroes

When I was younger I wanted to be Word Girl, because why not? Who wouldn't want to be a super smart, athletic, beautiful girl who has clueless parents, superpowers, mad writing skills and a sidekick monkey in a diaper? No one in their right mind i'm sure. My teachers always used to say that you could be anyone or anything that you wanted, that the stars were the limit. Despite their words however; everyone, even children will eventually have to learn that some stars are a lot closer to earth than others.

I learned this vital lesson when I was 7 years old and I saw my mother lying on the floor bleeding her life out on the carpet like something out of a crime show. I was too shocked to cry, or even notice the man who called himself Darrel standing there with a still warm rifle in his hands. I was too shocked to register his hands moving up the school uniform that I still had on. I was too shocked to stop him. Too weak. Too young. Vulnerable. I remember the smell of alcohol on his breath. I remember the way my hands shook. I remember feeling...dirty.

His fingers traced my jaw and his breathing became ragged. My 7 year old mind was blank. I was made of emotions, to shocked for words or thoughts. One hand grabbed my throat and another began to travel farther into my skirt. My vision began to go black as his hand grew tighter around my neck. I couldn't breathe. His mouth breathed words my fading consciousness couldn't hear when all the sudden he let go and stumbled back as though he had been caught red handed with his fingers still in the cookie jar. I fell to the floor and heard sirens. A guardian angel of red and blue was flying on its mechanical wings to save me.

A string of cuss words. Shaking i stared at him. "SHhh" he said with his finger to lips. "Not a word." I nodded. How could I manage describe what had happened? I hadn't even processed it yet. The ambulance roared into the driveway, crunching gravel and eating away precious seconds as the paramedics pushed through the curious neighbors crowded around our mobile home, and who watched as my mother was taken away on a yellow stretcher. The man who called himself Darrel talked with paramedics and then climbed in the ambulance. I sat in the corner and watched silently. A paramedic noticed me and asked if i was alright. I nodded. Then he asked if I had anywhere to go. I was starting to panic when a familiar voice spoke up. It was my best friend Charlie's older brother Chase, they were also my neighbors.

With a raised brow the paramedic turned to Chase. "She'll stay over at our house officer." "Are you family?" asked the paramedic. "No but we're family friends" the paramedic turned to me to confirm and I nodded my head. That was all the confirmation he needed, so he smiled a sort of pained smile and said "It's awful sad isn't it? It's such a shame the child had to witness such a horrible accident." My ears perked up. An accident? No it had been on purpose, of that I was sure. Mother had burned the food, put the forks in the dishwasher wrong, and walked in front of him while he was watching football. All of those terrible grievances had demanded repentance. I was too nervous to say anything though. I knew that he wouldn't believe me, and i knew that mother would lie to protect the man who called himself Darrel. Lowering my eyes i walked past the paramedic and followed Chase to his and Charlie's house. "You can sleep in charlies room, and we have....um orange juice, chocolate cake, and spinach if your hungry." smiling a little bit i pointed to the chocolate cake. He was so clueless it was almost funny, as if i'd eat anything other than chocolate cake. "Ok hold on. CHARLIEE" he screamed. "give me a bloody miNUTE Chase, London clogged the toilet again, we need to stop letting him eat mexican!" "Oh lord, not again. I'll talk to Gram. Anyways Rachels staying the night tonight. Put something mind numbing on tv. We need to distract her." "fINEEE. Come get your disgusting boxers out of my room first though. She'll probably drop dead from the smell."

A few minutes and one blushing Chase later I had a giant slice of chocolate cake and Jimmy Neutron was successfully blasting at full volume through the giant tv's tiny speakers. Charlie sat beside me wearing her sponge bob pajamas and a concerned frown on her face. "I'd ask if you were ok, but youre pretty obviously not. I'm not sure what happened but It's ok if you cry, i won't judge you this one time" Breathing in the familiar scent of too many dogs and suave shampoo I cried all over her spongebob pajama's. "I know i said i wouldn't judge but you snotted all over my pj's. They were clean. Do you know how often Gram does the laundry?" Half laughing and half crying we fell to the floor in hysterics. Chase walked by and tsked while lifting his eyebrow up all the way to the top of his head, his signature move. That only caused us to laugh even harder. After the three of us laughed for a good half hour i began to fall into a fitful sleep, dreaming of chocolate cake and bullets.

It was a bittersweet night. As I stared at the flickering screen though I realized something very important. Superheroes only exist in cartoons.