Past or Future

Meeting

I arrive at the diner at 3pm just as discussed. I walk inside and see Jacob sitting at the corner table with a cup of coffee in his hands. I make my way to the table, ensuring all the cuts and marks are completely covered. I sit down across from him, hoping the tenseness in the air would settle. He looks like he had a rough night. There is no word said between us. He quietly sips his coffee while I sit patiently.

"Hey" I say, loud enough for him to hear. "How are you doing?"

I hope the break in silence instigates our conversation. It doesn't. Instead he looks up and exhales a long drawn out breath.

"I'm sorry" I know he doesn't want to hear it. I know I worried him when I ran out the park. Everything was just so intense. I couldn't stay there. I guess me not picking up my phone didn't help the situation.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" he asks. I can hear the fatigue and pain in his voice. I'm unable to answer his question. I didn't want to relive the night I just had. It was too much to deal with and way too much to explain.

I see him shake his head at my silence. I want to fix everything. I wish I could go back and change some things but I can't. That's not how life works.

"Do you know how worried I was when you ran out the park? I thought we were having a good time together but then you just up and left. No explanation. I barely got a goodbye. Then you don't answer my calls or texts. I thought something happened to you. I stayed up all night hoping you would at least read the messages. Even if you didn't answer, at least I would have known you were okay." He goes on, rambling his frustration and worry. "Are you even listening?!" He slams his hand against the table, even more frustrated than I thought. Everyone in the diner is looking at us. I can feel myself getting nervous. The diner is quiet, too quiet.

"Yeah. I'm, listening." I watch him examine me and shake his head, swallowing the last of his coffee.

"Do you have anything you want to say?" I look at him and shake my head, declining his offer. I know I pissed him off. I know he wants answers. I just don't know how to get him to understand that I can't give him what he wants. I'm not just going to spill all my secrets and emotions out to him. That's not what I do.

I carelessly run my hands through my hair. I see his face change and I pray that he didn't see any of my cuts.

"Do you have makeup on?" he moves closer to me and looks at my face. I roll my eyes, hoping he isn't going to ask why. His observation gets creepy so I try to revert his distraction.

"So back to the subject..." I mentally kick myself for bringing it back up. "I didn't mean to upset you yesterday. I guess I was just overwhelmed."

"Why were you overwhelmed? Did I do something to overwhelm you?" I see the worry in his eyes. I want to tell him everything but I just can't.

"You didn't do anything. I don't know why I got overwhelmed. I just did. I'm sorry." He is staring at me. I know he is trying to see if I am lying. I get uncomfortable and look away from him. I make eye contact with a slightly older waiter who winks at me, creeping me out even more. I feel myself start to freak out and I shift in my seat, ready to leave.

"I'm going to head home." I get out my seat and get ready to go. Jacob stands up, leaving a five dollar bill on the table, and puts on his coat.

"What are you doing?" I watch him follow me out the door. "I'm walking you home." He says simply as we walk to the corner.

"Jacob. You don't have to walk me home. I'm fine walking by myself." He chuckles and stops. "I don't want a repeat of yesterday. If I walk you home, I won't have to worry." I look him in the eye with annoyance and aggravation. "I don't need you to walk me home. I'm fine. Just like I was fine yesterday, I'll be fine today!"

Jacob didn't say anything. He continued walking, heading towards my building. I decide to take a different way home. I turn the corner quickly and hustle down the block until I'm sure Jacob can't see me. I continue my walk home, relieved that I was no longer around him.

I got home in ten minutes, happy that I could finally relax. I look around my apartment, ensuring no one is there. Once I was sure, I changed into an oversized t- shirt and shorts. When I finished changing, I tied my hair up and sat on the couch. I hear someone knock on my door. I slowly get up, scared it would be my brother. I look through the eyepiece and see Jacob. Relieved, I open the door. His face contorts when he sees me. I wonder why he is looking at me as if he has seen a ghost, and then I realize. He can see everything. All my scars, cuts, and bruises are visible. I mumble a stream of curses as I ponder what's to come.

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Sorry I haven't been updating.  Between work, college, family drama, and keeping my sanity, I didn't have much time to write.  I hope you enjoy the chapter! Vote and comment your thoughts, ideas, etc.

P.S. Happy New Year!