Up, up, up went the balls, brightly colored and gleaming.
Arthur laughed to see them, clapping his pudgy toddler hands and pointing to all the bright colors.
The juggler swept a bow that hid his eyes, and the balls turned to birds and flew off one by one.
The last one hit the floor and rolled instead.
So did the juggler's head.
Arthur decided he didn't much like juggling after all.
. . . . .
Up, up, up went the balls, blood red and gleaming.
Arthur hadn't wanted them for his birthday, but some steward had arranged it, and what could he say? No, don't, because that was the first time I saw a man die and I'll have nightmares? Prince Regents didn't have nightmares. Nightmares were childish things, and executions were necessary, and it was fine. Really.
His father laughed like a child and clapped his hands, and that made it worse, because it underlined just how wrong this had all become. He set his face into his best princely mask and tried to smile, because this was all for him after all.
The acrobats and entertainers came out one by one, and he wished he could see Merlin's face instead of the entertainment because he had seemed so excited earlier and that joy was so much brighter than the mockery that cut so deeply beside him.
For the last act he was spinning around and around, humiliated and terrified, but he could see Merlin now, and somehow he was strangely reassured.
Then he was heavy with drugs and his father was dying.
Arthur really, really hated entertainers.
. . . . .
Up, up, up went the eggs and only Merlin's lips were smiling.
His eyes were dark and full of things Arthur suddenly realized he didn't understand, and he wasn't sure how long they'd been there.
He tilted his head up and hid his eyes and the eggs disappeared until there was only one, and Arthur knew.
"I didn't know you could juggle."
"I've got lots of hidden talents."
"Like Morgana did?"
He should have drawn his sword, but he couldn't, somehow. Given the choice, Lancelot was Guinevere's first pick, only Lancelot was dead now, because of him, and his own uncle was a traitor, and his half sister wanted him dead, and his father would never approve of what he'd done and even Leon looks doubtful -
Elyan must hate him, privately, for what he did to the man's sister, and he's fairly sure the only reason Gwaine hadn't run off was Merlin. He was fairly certain Gaius had hated his father by the end and had no idea about how the man felt about him, and who knew what Percival thought, the man barely talked -
A king had to be believe he was the best ruler possible for his people.
Merlin had been the last source of Arthur's for a long time now. If even he didn't believe . . . Well, good kings listened to their people. If everyone turned traitor, maybe the problem wasn't everyone. Maybe the problem was you.
Merlin had turned and was facing him. His eyes faded from frantic to worried to determined. He gripped Arthur's arms in his own. "Not like Morgana," he promised. "Never like her. More like a . . . light in a cave. To keep the spiders far enough back that you can do your job."
He didn't know what to think, but the old faith was shining in Merlin's eyes brighter than ever, and he thought that might be enough to start with.
. . . . .
Up, up, up went the kingly duties, and he certainly felt like an acrobat as he tried to keep them all in the air.
Juggling schedules, balancing factions, taming the lions of diplomacy . . . What he needed was a knife throwing act, that could solve half his problems right there.
Merlin walked in, and he wasn't sure if it counted as juggling if you weren't using your hands, but he suspected it took just as much skill to keep the fruit moving and changing colors like it was.
Merlin swept an elaborate bow but kept his head up so Arthur could see the wink that temporarily covered one of his golden eyes, and the fruit into butterflies - butterflies, Merlin, really - and flew away one by one.
The last one was caught by Arthur and lobbed at Merlin's head instead.
Merlin retaliated with a pillow.
Arthur decided that juggling might not be so bad after all.
. . . . .
A/N: Obviously a number of episodes are referenced here. I'd like to point out the section where Merlin is juggling eggs in particular - there are two lines, "I didn't know you could juggle" and Merlin's response, that are more or less directly from "Arthur's Bane, Part 1". I claim no credit for those, even though they might be paraphrased. Arthur's thoughts on kingship being about truly believing you're the best for the job were inspired by Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, specifically the second book, The Well of Ascension.
This was inspired by a pin on Pinterest from a board I follow where Merlin's excited about Arthur's birthday celebration. Naturally, I decided tragedy was in order, and somehow that turned into an AU reveal based on . . . juggling.
In my defense, I've never read of anyone else doing the reveal like that so . . . It had to be done at least once?
