Leon didn't talk about his childhood much. It wasn't something any of the knights spent much time discussing, really, but most occasionally shared some story of early mischief or stumbles in their training.
Leon didn't. None of the knights above a certain age did. It was one of the rules they didn't talk about, something instinctively understood.
The newer knights didn't like rules like that, he knew. They felt the pressure of them too greatly.
Leon was used enough to them to weave through them with grace.
The grown-ups wouldn't tell him what was going on, but Leon picked up on things quickly. When his playmates disappeared, he didn't ask about them. He heard the whispers that they'd fled from something. That was all he needed to know.
The tension in the castle was tight enough to snap. Leon found more and more out of the way places for him and Kai to play knights. Elaine played the pretty enchantress they were fighting to win the favor of.
Then Elaine went to, and Kai wouldn't play without an enchantress. Leon's mother's maid had a tiny daughter that she brought with her and then let loose to play. She was the closest girl, so Leon talked her into playing their fair lady. She was a bit young, but she played the part enthusiastically, pudgy hands waving as she made up nonsense word spells. Kai shrugged and went with it. He even taught her a few real spells, but while they made Kai's eyes flash gold, Gwen just tripped through the pretty words and smiled.
Then Kai went. Not disappeared, just - went.
It was one of the things that Leon wasn't supposed to know about, much less see, but he caught the words everyone was whispering.
"His father's only heir - "
"It seems no one is really safe."
"Tomorrow at the pond if his father can't buy the king off."
Leon stood there, stone faced, as his father's hand held his shoulder so tight it would leave bruises. Something in him felt shaky, explosive, but he could not question the king. Everyone knew you could not question the king.
"Play?" Gwen asked him brightly when he saw her the next day.
Leon was suddenly aware of everyone who might be watching, might be listening. He knelt down and carefully took her hands before she could begin waving them about.
"Alright," he agreed, "but let's play a different game today. You can be a princess."
"Princess!" Gwen agreed happily, and the shaking thing in his chest calmed enough for him to breathe.
Leon didn't gossip, but others did, and the whispers had a way of coming his way sooner rather than later.
Gwen was being courted by Merlin, according to the latest one. Normally only the servants would have cared about a rumor like that, but their positions in the royal household allowed people to use it as an excuse to speculate on Arthur and Morgana, so it seeped upwards as well.
Leon didn't know if it was true, but he hoped it was. They both deserved happiness.
It did make an old memory tug loose one, and he winced to remember it, even after all this time.
"I'm gonna marry you someday," Gwen announced when they had climbed as high as they could in one of the trees lining the river. The sound of the grown-ups picnicking was far behind them.
