The Diary of a Pretty Lady

Chapter 25

"What the hell!" I yell at Finn as soon as we are outside. This is so typical Finn behavior. He cannot let me fight my own battles. He thinks I'm too weak and vulnerable.

"He had it coming Sam, he hurt you so bad!" He shouts back at me balling his fist as if they're itching to be used again on Jonas.

"I know but you have to let me fight my own battles. Yes he made a mistake and he was owning up to it. He was so sorry." I tell him softer this time. Drying my eyes I look around and see the football team sneaking glances at us.

"But I promised you that I will protect you for the rest of my life." Finn answers sadly. "This is me protecting you Sam why don't you get it?" He sighs looking exhausted.

"Since we made that pack when we were 7 years old you never broke it. And even if you let me talk to Jonas and he tells me things that hurt me a lot, you still wouldn't have failed me. You were always there for me and I know in the future you're going to be the first to console me when I'm hurt. But I will never become a strong woman if I hide behind you back forever Finn. You have to give me space, you have to let me get hurt sometimes so I can fight it myself." I tell him.

It's weird to say this, it's like I'm breaking up with Finn. It feels like I put a lot of space between us by saying this. I indeed need some room to breathe but I have a feeling that I put too much distance between us with my words.

"I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry Sam. you can call Jacques to pick you up. I will get a ride from someone here." He nods and kisses my forehead before heading back to practice.

Turning around I run to the bathroom bawling my eyes out. It feels like my heart got ripped out of my chest for the second time this week. But I have to keep strong, I asked Finn to let me be and handle it myself so I have to do it. I have to stop being so weak and hiding behind Finn and become my own person.

After finishing in the bathroom I walk outside.

"Dammit" I mutter to myself , I forgot to text Jacques to come pick me up.

Strolling around on the parking lot I take out my cellphone and open a new messagewindow. Suddenly looking up because I hear a sound I see Jonas' car parking at the far back.

Without another thought I head over to his car and step into his car. He looks chocked at me.

"I really do care about you but you didn't trust me and above all you hurt me. But would you answer me one question honestly." I ask him immediately when I sit down.

Jonas takes a deep breath. "Ask away."

"What do you want between us?" I ask. I have to know. I think I deserve to know everything he feels for me and what he decided to throw it all away for.

"I want us back Sam, I want your laugh, your love, I want it all back." He sighs and put his forehead on the steering wheel.

"But you can't Jonas!" I suddenly scream, not only surprising Jonas but also myself. I was so calm and collected when I got in but now. My hands are shaking my heart is pounding and my head is hurting.

"You can't just have it all back after what you did to me." I say, this time calmer en speaking steadier.

"I know that, but can I at least try. I won't ever forgive myself if I didn't at least try and make it up to you." He turns to me and lays a hand on my knee. I let him do it, I let him touch me even though he hurt me so much. But I love this guy and I can't help but feel good about the touch. To feel some pieces of my broken heart popping back into place.

"Well, Finn isn't a problem anymore." I say, putting my hand over his. I almost cry again. Gripping Jonas' hand.

"Sam, what happened? Oh god, this is all my fault isn't it." He stares at me.

"Not really, I just needed some space to deal with things on my own without his protection all the time. And now I think I put too much distance between us." I tell him, holding back a sob.

" I saw the hurt in his eyes Jonas, I ended our bond by saying that." I say, now full out sobbing.

"Oh shit, I am so sorry Sam. for everything that I did, for hurting you while it was just a big misunderstanding, for what's happening with your brother." He sighs, pulling me closer to him so I can cry on his shoulder.

"I will say this until you forgive me Sam, I'm so sorry about everything. If I could take it all back I would do it." Jonas says, hugging me one last time at the front door of my house.

I just nod, I have no idea what to answer. I'm absolutely not a complete fool by taking him back immediately but I love him too much to let it all go.

"You should go Jonas, I know for a fact that my dad is home and he is almost as protective as Finn was." I push him back in the direction of his car. Almost breaking out in tears again at the mention of Finn.

"Okay, I'm going. You know you can always call me right." Jonas says while walking backwards.

"I know I can." Is the last thing I say before I step inside and close the door behind me.

This is by far the most horrible day at school I had ever. I'm exhausted and the only thing I need right now is a big hug from my second favorite man in the universe.

Walking into the living room I find dad watching some basketball while typing away on his laptop. When I told Jonas that dad was home it was just a guess. I know that he knows that I'm hurt and I think he just worked from home so he could be here for me.

I'm really the most spoiled child that lives on this planet. Not only am I materially wealthy but I'm emotionally wealthy too. We travelled all over the world and we met hundreds of different people but our family has always been strong.

My mom and dad weren't always around but dad was around enough to be my first love and my mom was my biggest hero.

When he notices my presence he immediately stands up and rushes to me.

"Oh honey, everything okay?" He cooed me, hugging me tightly. And for the millionth time in the last few days I start crying. My dad never broke my heart when I was little, he would never abandon me or my family. Just with his hug I can feel the betrayal of Jonas that much harder.

"Where's Finn?" He asks me, rubbing my back. And again at the sound of Finn's name the sobbing starts again.

I know he feels me breaking down in his arms. He picks me up bridal style and walks me to the sofa setting me down into the big soft cushions.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to ask Jeff to make you something okay? I will be right b-back." He says softly his voice breaking a little at the end of his sentence.

I'm his little princess, I'm his little girl that he always protected so hard. Together with Finn, they were my big rocks. They always made me feel safe. I know it's hard for him to see his little girls breaking down, to be totally destroyed by some guy.H H

When dad comes back he's carrying a plate with some grilled cheese. Jeff makes the best grilled cheese in the entire world. In fact he makes the best everything in the world.

"Sammie, please tell me what's wrong." Dad says while sitting on his knees right in front of the sofa.

"H-h-he cheated on me daddy-" I start and tell him everything.