But It's Better If You Do

An Unexpected Chain of Events

We walked into the backstage area of the building where we were going to perform. It was a small, quaint room with a couch, 2 chairs and a mini-fridge for refreshments. It reminded me of a hotel that Sam and Dean would stay in, with the 60's vibe and the vibrant colors.

"Hey when do we go on? I want time to tune before the show." Ray asked me.
"Uh, at 7:45 I believe."
"And the time?"
"7:40. Shit!" We grab our equipment and go to the stage. The stage crew were extremely mean people, most of them male. They made fun of our band and called us, horrible names I would like to not remember. I don't think at this point I could remember all those nicknames, I have already locked them away in the safe of my mind. No need to relive them. That would be cruel and unnecessary to my poor heart.

I grabbed the microphone I was planning on using and set it at the center of the stage. You see, me and Ray, we don't need a bunch of snazzy lights to make our entrance seem more dramatic and extravagant, we just love the simplicity of being able to share our thoughts with other people by song. It's such a beautiful thing, music, but I had no time to dabble on about that in my mind as I saw Ray nod at me, signaling that he was ready. I nodded back quickly in return.

My heart beat fast as I saw the curtains rise before me. I wondered how many people were going to be in the audience. Not many, probably. Like I said, we weren't necessarily a big band. Just two guys trying to make a difference in people's lives, no matter how few. I know some people don't like our music style, but it's provocative and it gets the people going.

I glanced over at Ray, and actually smiled for the first time in a while. He was jumping up and down a bit, probably trying to calm down as we just so happened to be in front of a much larger crowd than we had expected. Holy fuck, did we sell out? I could tell Ray was thinking the same thing. I put my attention back on the crowd. How am I going to get through this show without passing out?

Guess a career in singing wasn't the best idea for someone with a fear of social settings, was it?

As we played, I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins with every note I hummed out into the microphone. I felt alive, I felt alive but also scared. There were so many people and I felt like I wouldn't be able to control my body if something bad were to happen. I wouldn't be able to move, I wouldn't be able to run or hide. I wouldn't be able to protect Ray, just like I couldn't protect...

Stop.

Focus.

Sing.

My mind darted back into the reality of the now sweaty, dark room filled with the noise of our notes coming together to form the music we had written together in my basement all those years ago. We were almost done, I could tell by the intense ringing in my ears. The crowd was pumping their fists and singing every lyric with me, which is quite possible the best feeling in the entirety of the universe. My aching voice straining to churn out each and every word strangely matched with their yelling of lyrics. Everything just felt right. This is where I should be. Maybe something had finally gone right in my life.

* * *

I woke up surrounded by bright lights. Aliens? No, I see people. Everything hurts. My head feels like it's throbbing along with the beat of my heart rate, which seemed unnaturally low at the moment. I could feel my panic increasing and the hot feeling rising to my chest. What is happening? What is happening what is happening what is happening what is happen...

"Gerard?"

A familiar voice. I opened my eyes, which I realized were tightly shut.

"Gerard, are you awake?" Duh.  I groaned as my eyes strained to adjust to the annoyingly bright lights. They were extremely unnecessary, I'm sure everyone could see with dim lights. What's the point of having light if they're going to be a misfortune to the people using them? Isn't technology supposed to help us and not add trouble to our lives?