Year 1 Without Zayn
May-August: I hold everything in this little journal. My feelings. My thoughts. Everything. Why can't I stop thinking about him? This feeling is quite different. What am I feeling? No, it can't be. He's my bestfriend. I'm not feeling what I am. I refuse to believe it's love.
September-January: I catch myself grinning everytime I think about him. A few times a week, when I'm done with my school work, I see him when I'm surfing the Internet. I make sure to keep updated with the boys and where they are. Sometimes I'll go out with friends and try to take my mind off of him. Nothing ever works.
March-April: I'm starting to do better in my opinion. All of my loved ones still think I'm depressed. I'm about to graduate college with my bachelor's degree in the medical field. I e-mail the boys ever once in a while. They just don't call me anymore because management took their phones.
Year 2 Without Zayn
May-August: They call me here and then, but not much. I'm glad to hear their voices though. Even if its just a few minutes every month. I graduated! I'm applying for a job at the local hospital. Its the kind of hospital that helps the people who can't pay for the visits they need. It feels good to help the needy.
September-January: Zayn's birthday is comming up. But him and the boys are going to a pub and hanging out a little. Management is having him record some new songs, so he's very busy. It's okay though, I understand being a celebrity must be difficult and stressful. I'm thinking about what to get him for his birthday...
March-April: I'm so exhausted! I love my job, but I don't hear from the boys as often as usual. It makes me sad that I can't keep updated with them. I always have to find out from the news or Internet, and I hate finding out like that. Media streches out the truth to a great length.
Year 3 Without Zayn
May-August: Ahh! One more year! A couple singles have been realeased and they're amazing! I can tell that they are having fun, but I wonder how it would be on stage. They now call me on a weekly basis and I love it. Sometimes if they don't have enough time to call me, they will e-mail me or txt me while I'm at work and I will eventually see it later. They always make me smile no matter how I'm feeling. It's one of the many reasons I love them.
September-January: I feel like I'm going to explode! There's so much stress from this job! I'm working full time shifts and It's killing me! I barely have time to eat. I'm so busy! Oh well, I signed up for it. My feelings for Zayn have grown faster and larger by the second. I have come to a conclusion. I'm in love. But, I can NEVER tell him! It will ruin our friendship, and I know he doesn't feel the same way. I don't want that to happen.
March-April: OH MY GOODNESS! I'M GOING TO SEE THEM SOON! I can't wait! Im marking off the days on my calendar. It seems so long but so short. Work is a little bit more kind to me. I love helping these people. I'm about to transfer to a different hospital though. I'm going to have to drive a longer distance but, whatever.
