in too deep.

loss.

There was a time when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. There was a time when the storm clouds still seemed to gleam. There was a time when happiness was not a privilege, but a habit. There was a time when smiles and laughter came naturally. There was a time when photo's captured a moment that needed to be remembered. There was a time where music could cure all pain. There was a time for life.

Doesn't it hurt when you lose someone you love? Doesn't the sky feel darker – the wind feels icier. Doesn't it break your heart at that moment; everything hurts. Everything comes crashing down at once; the agonising weight of pain caves over you, and a bridge of confinement slowly build itself over the raging stream of tears. Every muscle in every joint ache, every cell feels on fire and, all you can do is let it.

Overcome with self-hate and guilt, you try to realise how this happened. But, all you can do is gasp, trying to catch your breath. Trying to breathe. But you just feel so, dead.

Taking deep muffled breaths, you clamber to your feet and stare at the distorted figure before you. Your eyes are red and your throat is starting to dry up, as soon as your eyes leave the mirror you cry again. But, this time you scream.

It feels unbearable.

This isn't the worst part; more tears are yet to come.

The memories.

The memories good and bad make it hurt more. So much more. - They beat you up and claw at your flesh.

Remember when she was claimed as part of our family?

You fall to the floor.

Remember when she calmed you after a panic attack?

Your chest burns.

Remember when she stayed with you after a bad breakup?

It gets too much.

You've lost all energy, and have shut yourself down.

Yet again – you're alone.

And, that's all you can do. You can only be alone. You don't get a second chance; you've used them all up. This is real and this is going to stay.

- Forever.