Just another Day in High school

Thinking Out Loud

Shelby

I just wanted to die. Why couldn't I just die, and be gone? My life of eternal pain could be over.

My eyes opened and I saw Ethan laying in a chair a sleep. I ran my fingers across the plush comforter and sheets. I sat up slowly and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. My vision blurred and I steadied myself.

My feet touched the ground and I stood slowly making my way to the bathroom down the hall. Trying to forget all the pain my body held. Flicking on the light I looked in the mirror and sighed. More bruises and cuts. I pulled up my hair into a ponytail to examen my hairline. Bruises. I looked at my wrists and pealed back the bandages. My deep deliberate cuts sat smiling back at me. Black thread sowing them together.

I started the hot water and stripped. Once hot I slipped into the shower and sat on the floor pulling my legs to my chest and hugging my knees. I let the water wash over my skin and I let out a sob. I just wanted it to stop. The haunting memories, the pain, the hate, the evil. I just wanted it gone.

I just wanted to be able to breath. I felt the tears sting my eyes and let them fall. I don't usually cry. I hate to cry, I don't like feeling worthless. That's how I feel. I began to feel the water get cold and stood turning off the water and climbing out wrapping the towel around my body.

I dried my body of the water droplets and dressed, shaking my hair out. A knock sounded on the door and I opened it slowly. "Thank god you're ok!" Tay's voice sounded in my ears. Her arms wrapped around me and I groaned. "Oh my god! I'm sorry!"

"May you please stop screaming?" I asked my voice hoarse. I held my side. Yep I think one of my ribs are broken.

"I'm sorry, I just after yesterday I'm just, you know, glad you're ok."

My heart hurt. "I'm fine babe, promise," I put up my pinky and wiggled it.

"I hope so," she wrapped hers around mine and smiled. "Ethan is making breakfast downstairs."

"Ok, do you know where my sweatshirt I leave over here is?" I asked wrapping my arms around my torso. My thin black long sleeve didn't do much to hold off the chill. My black sweatpants did but, not well on my top half.

"Yeah one sec," she smiled and left for a sec and came back with my gray wolf sweatshirt. I took it thanking her and threw it over my head.

"Thank you," I said trying to get warm. I walked out of the bathroom flicking the light off and back into Tay's room to grab my slippers that I leave over at her house.

I walked down the stairs and saw Ethan and Tay cooking SOS (for those who don't know that stands for,shit on a shingle, and it's basically a white gravy, with ground beef on buttered toast. When done right it's amazing. Just a southern thing.) I jumped in and turned the oven on broil. Taking the bread I buttered them and placed them on a cookie sheet. They reminded me of little solders lining up for war.

Arms encircled my waist and I looked back to see River. My heart jumped at the sight of his smile, his blue eyes shining and his raven hair tousled. I turned and placed my hands on the sides of his face. One of his hands wrapped around my arm turning it to see my wrist. He kissed the bandage and smiled, "Beautiful," he whispered.

He did this to my second wrist and tears gathered in my eyes. I turned away so he couldn't see my tears and continued to cook. His arms wrapped my waist again and I tried to ignore the pain that rocketed threw me. Once done buttering all the bread I took them to the oven and kept the door opened so I could watch them so they don't burn.

Once golden brown (how clique) I took them out and flipped them then put them back in. Once that side was done I placed the cookie sheet on a hot plate to cool for a little. River was whispering to Ethan and Tay as they stirred the gravy while it thickened.