She sighs quietly, staring at the door once more. It was just school. She's not so sure why it made her such a wreck. No one was going to talk to her. After all, she's just a weird kid who sits in the back of the class.
... It's not that she's worried about, is it?
Her hand's grasping the doorknob. She hadn't noticed how tired she was until now. Her eyes droop shut.
She blinks once. Twice.
The knob's turned and soon the door closes behind her.
-♥- "I love you." -♥-
Math. That's the class she has next. She finds her hands to be numb, they tingle and it's rather annoying. She quickly shakes them, although there's not much of a difference and she gives up.
She stares at the door for a few moments. But, there are others in the hallway. She didn't want them to see what a fool she was. Her hand lays on the doorknob, it's warmer than her hand.
She finally turns the knob after a few tries. Her hand's too slippery and sweaty, so she wipes it on her jeans and walks in.
-♥- "I love you." -♥-
She's very nervous. Eyes watch the door, waiting to see if she's here. Others slowly pour in over time.
She begins to find the door a bit too boring, she finds, eyes trail down to her desk. There's some tape on the side of her desk. She's not quite sure how long it's been there, but she peels it off.
There's still some tape stuck to her hand, so she scratches that off, not quite sure what that solved.
She looks back up at the door. It opens with a swing, closing with a click behind her.
It's her.
A small smile makes its way to her face as soon as she sees her. She knows, without a doubt, that was the owner of the pretty hand on her desk. Dark brown, almost black hair, which tumbled down her back. Her eyes are a fiery shade of amber, and they meet Katelyn's own.
Aphmau bothered to look at her.
She feels a sudden rush of adrenaline, and the smile on her face is gone. An overwhelming sense of dread, creeping up her back and smashing into her with the force of a thousand bulls. Her vision's fogging up.
She thinks Aphmau walks over to her, she's not sure. She most likely said something, but Katelyn couldn't tell you what.
Her head's heavy, chest constricting.
Breathe, she tells herself. Deep, heavy breaths.
She thinks Aphmau's worried. Again, she can't tell.
It's spinning. Everything's spinning. What was Aphmau was now colors, just a smear of colors.
But, she notes that amber stands out among it all, like the piercing brightness of the end of a tunnel, or the blinding terror of a train.
She closes her eyes. She's alright.
She's alright.
She's calm.
-♥- "I love you." -♥-
Aphmau, for one, has no clue what just happened. She walks in, and the new kid she talked to yesterday is now curled up on the floor in a ball. The teacher isn't there, of course. There's a soft pang in her chest as she looks at her, a memory surfaces but she pushes it down.
People are staring at them.
"Oh my god," says a girl who she believes is called Kiki. "Is she alright?!"
Another girl turns and glares at Aphmau.
"... Aphmau, what did you do?"
Aphmau is speechless. She's not quite sure, either.
"I... I didn't do anything!" is her honest reply. "I just walked in, that's all!"
She continues to glare at her.
She thinks she sees the girl twitch a little. She's muttering something, but she can't tell what she says.
Aphmau doesn't know what to do. All eyes are on her when she kneels, reaching out a hand at her once more. She's not twitching anymore. There's a small ruffle as she looks up.
Their eyes meet. Pastel blue meets amber.
"... Hey. You alright..?" It's the stupidest thing she could ask at the given moment, and she mentally slaps herself.
Her question echoes through the now silent classroom.
But, instead of curling up and sobbing, she doesn't.
The pretty blue-haired girl blinks. Aphmau had always wanted blue hair, now that she thought of it. It was much better than her brown hair. There were so many people in her school with brown hair, but blue..?
She has to shake the thoughts away. That's not important.
What is important is the fact the pretty girl isn't sobbing. Aphmau keeps her hand out, a reassuring smile on her, which, of course, was obviously fake.
The girl nods. It's not very noticeable.
"... Well, whatever happened, I'm sorry if I did anything... You're not mad, are you..?"
Blank expression morphs into one of slight disappointment. She shakes her head 'no'.
It's a few moments of dead silence.
"Nothing's going to happen. You'll be alright, I'll be alright, and we'll be alright. How's that sound?"
'Terrible,' she expects her to say.
But, she doesn't. She just nods.
A few more moments of silence.
Then, tenderly, her hand reaches out. Aphmau is determined to not move her hand away, instead letting the girl's hand rest on top of it.
She tries her hardest not to flinch, instead keeping her smile, wrapping her own hand around her's.
"... I promise I'll protect you. You'll be alright, I can promise that."
Cracking a smile, she adds, "And, I promise to keep that promise." It's a terrible attempt at humor, but she's never been the best at improv.
... Nor has she been the best at helping others. But, that didn't turn out too bad, did it..?
Aphmau carefully stands up, still grasping the girl's hand.
They're still watching them. Aphmau doesn't specifically care, but, as she glances at the girl, she notices she's gazing at the ground.
She wants to be able to help her, but she hears the door open.
-♥- "I love you." -♥-
"Exactly what is going on?" the teacher asks, and everyone quickly migrates to their seats.
But, she wants to feel her hand again. She's already craving it, and her face is tinted a slight pink.
Katelyn Firefist wishes to punch Aphmau for that strange feeling she leaves in her.
All she can do is nod.
YOU ARE READING
(discontinued) i love you (but i'm not sure if i should) - Katemau
Fanfic[katemau, has darker themes later on. cover drawn by SomePerson234] "I wish you were as a good of a liar as you are beautiful..." She's not good with people, or school, or anything. Lost, she doesn't know what she's doing, or how she's still alive. ...
