Wake Me Up When September Ends

What Is A Man Who Lays His Hands On His Lover?

I started pissing myself laughing, receiving strange looks from the two people who I adored most.

“I got you mother fuckers.” Was all I said before breaking out in a laughing fit again.

Austin looked at me. “Excuse me?” He asked confusion clear in his voice.

“You really thought I forgot you guys. I could never. You’re too fat and ugly.”

“Fuck you Adreena.” Kellin piped up in a playful tone.

“You would.” I winked at him, watching his face turn from humour to mortified.

Austin just sat there with his thinking face on.

“Austin baby, what’s wrong?” I asked him, gloom now lacing my voice.

“I can never forgive you for what you just did Adreena.” He replied, not looking at me.

Tears started to well in my eyes, ready to spill when I urged them to stop. I studied his face, trying to find some sort of clue as to whether he was being serious or not. All I got was a blank façade.

That was it, the tears started pouring, and as much as I willed, they would not stop.

Austin looked up at me, sadness written in his eyes.

“Hahaha, I got YOU mother fucker.” He laughed, leaning over to kiss me.

Oh how I missed those perfect lips.

We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, and I raised my head towards Kellin with a sheepish look on my face. “I’m sorry…” I whispered.

“It’s cool, I’m just still not used to it is all.” He replied calmly. That is what I loved about Kellin; he was so lenient. He accepted everything the way it came. And as much as he was an asshole, he wasn’t really one to ever judge someone on their looks. I mean look at me; I am so unusual. Butt-length mousy brown hair with black tips, caramel eyes with specks of ocean blue, different shades of freckles painting my semi-tanned skin and an average body – I always get told I am the skinniest person in the school, not that I believe it – but what is different about me is that I don’t wear the same clothes as everyone. I am classed as an emo because I like to wear black, and I wear dark, thick eye make-up to school instead of all the fucking shades of the rainbow eye-shadow like everyone else does.

“Adreena” Austin said louder than usual, laughing at me when I came out of my dazed state.

“Huh?”

“The nurse is here.” He responded my questioning remark.

“Sorry, I was thinking. How are you?” I directed my comment towards Austin, and greeted the Nurse at the same time.

“I’m fine dear, how are you feeling?” Nurse Jacky – hoping that her name tag was correct – asked me in a cheery tone.

“Uuuhm, better than I was six months ago I guess...” I answered coldly as I remembered why I was here in the first place.

“Shall we take your bandage off then?” She hesitated before asking. I just answered with a nod.

“Austin, can you please take yourself and Kellin out of the room. I don’t want you to see what her arm looks like.” The nurse said, all happiness leaving her tone.

“Sure think Jacky.” Austin replied with a smile.

Ahh, so they were on first name basis now, I guess she was my everyday nurse.

I winced as she unwound the itchy material from my left arm, and flinched when I looked down upon it. It look horrible. All you could see was blue fishing line through the crusty red blood dried out on my arm. I gagged at the site, and silently thanked the nurse when she shoved the bucket in front of me.

“How about we get this all cleaned up babe?” She asked me nicely.

“Gladly” I responded with a chuckle.

“Ahh, it’s nice to see a smile finally reach your eyes, we have missed that over the last few days.” She commented.

“Jacky, can I ask you something?” I quizzed her.

“Sure honey, ask away.” She remarked as she started wiping off the dried up blood from my arms, being careful of the stiches that tied my arms together neatly.

“Have I met you before?” I asked her, waiting patiently for her answer.

“Yes dear. You have. They call me in every time you are admitted after an attempt. I am a good friend of your mothers, and I am the only person she really trusts fully with you.” She replied calmly, trying to avoid the word suicide.

“It’s okay to say that word around me you know. I’m not...”  She cut me off before I could finish.

“I know Addie, but it is not easy for me…” She said, using the name I only allowed my mother to use on me.

“I’m sorry Jacky. I really am.” I said, tears pricking the back of my eyes. I didn't know what to say. I was so lost. I felt so guilty.

"It's okay baby, I understand." She replied, tears streaming down her flawlessly flawless face. I could tell that she really loved me, and that I had hurt her pretty bad.

"So, I see that you have a lovely man on your hands..?" she giggled, when Austin pulled a face at me through the glass screen.

"Yeah, he is wonderful to me. We have been best friends for years, and we both confessed our feelings, and this is what we became." I replied, a huge grin stretching from one cheek to the other. I put my head down, and continued to watch as Jacky cleaned up my arm, and got excited when she said I could go.

 

"AUSTIN ROBERT CARLILE! GET YOUR SCREAMING ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" I bellowed at him from my bed.He came rushing in, panic clear on his face, and managed to ask me what was wrong without screwing up his words. I giggled at him, and told him the good news; "I am aloud to go home." I said excitedly, laughing at his relieved facial expression. He really does worry about me too much.

I am so terribly sorry that I havent updated in ages. I have had alot going on, and I have had serious writers block. It took me a while to do this chapter because I had to keep coming back to it. I have had so many assignments and shit, it is absolutely crazy. Sorry my little sexies. Xoxo