Bump In The Road: Josh & Colleen

Sick and Scared

Josh:

As, I get in the elevator, I get scared. Why was Colleen not telling me something on the phone? Why did she not answer my calls earlier? Even worse, why didn't she come to the cabana with me? Why did it sound like she was letting someone out?

Suddenly I have a terrible thought. What if Colleen was cheating? That's ridiculous. She would never. Right?

Colleen:

(Earlier that morning)

I wake up and immediately feel sick.

"Joshua?" I call. He's not next to me in bed. "Josh?"

I don't know where he is, but I feel awful. I have the worst cramps in the world. Oh, shit! If I have cramps, then I must've got my period last night. I have to go put a tampon in. I pull the covers off and try to sit up, but I can't. The pain is too bad. I don't usually have cramps like this. And in Hawaii? Of all times?

Suddenly I have the overwhelming urge to vomit. I can't get to the bathroom so I quickly grab the trashcan and puke. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and give in to my body. I lay in bed for a few minutes, breathing deeply, trying to feel better. And I do feel a little better. I can get out of bed, so I grab a tampon from my suitcase and go to the bathroom.

"I'll be fine. I'm not going to let some stupid period cramps ruin my vacation, especially after I let shoulder pain ruin my last few months." I whisper to myself as I sit down on the toilet.

"Everything will be fine." I say, pulling my pants down. "Wait, what?!" I say loudly. There's no blood? How is that possible? My period should've been here three days ago, so how is there still no blood?

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. No. No, no, no, no, I can't. I can't be ... well, you know.

Now I'm crying. Sobbing is more like it, actually. What am I supposed to do? I can't be ... pregnant. There. I said it. Pregnant. I might be pregnant. Oh my god. I feel the tears coming even faster.

Why am I so scared? Back in August, when I passed out at one of my shows, I thought I might be pregnant. And I wasn't nearly as scared. And I talked about it with my mom, and with Rachel, and with Chris. I think I even talked about it somewhere on YouTube. And now I don't think I can even bring myself to tell Joshua.

That's it. In August, we bought four pregnancy tests. I used three of them. I might, I just might, still have the fourth one. I dig around my solid purple Jansport backpack, a staple in my wardrobe, and find various items. My Miranda Camp charm bracelet. A chips wrapper. An old foundation bottle. Australian money. Half of a pack of gum. A crushed paper with information about a flight to Seattle from 2014. A folded picture Bailey drew for me. Four pens, three plastic spoons, two bottles of Advil, and, one pregnancy test. I grab it and run to the bathroom. I've never been more terrified.

A/N

I hope you guys like this cliffhangerrrr (: I miss writing this so much. No more excuses. I'm going to post every day this week. That's a promise! See y'all tomorrow!!