The Man of My Dreams

I Just Wanted to Watch a Movie...

                   The lights in the theater were just dimming as me and Josh ran to some empty seats, hands filled with snack and drinks.  Throwing a handful of popcorn into my mouth, I smiled at Josh, “See?  We still made it on time.”  Even through the dark, I thought I could see him roll his eyes. 

                The movie started and I attempted to lose myself in it, forgetting all my worries.  The attempt was a failure because nothing could block out the feeling I had in my head.  I felt the pressure of the boy in it.  The pressure wasn’t necessarily painful, just noticeable.  Do you think you could stop digging around my head for a couple hours and just leave me alone?  No response.  I know you’re there; I can feel you up there. 

                Annoyed with the boy ignoring me, I turned back to the movie.  A young, attractive man came up on the screen.  Even though I had just missed the last couple of minutes due to arguing with a voice in my head, I could tell that this man and the main girl were about to get very naughty.  As much as I realized this should’ve been awkward with Josh next to me, I still felt comfortable.  His shoulders aren’t broad enough.  He looks awkwardly unproportional. 

                 What?  Locked in on the adult scene playing, I was surprised to hear his voice. 

                The actor, he’s not as perfect as he seems.  His right shoulder is slightly higher than his left too. 

                How do you know?  How do you see him?  Was he with us here?  Panic began to rise inside of me.

                You’re thinking about him- a lot. 

                Hmm…  So you just think you’re perfect than, huh?

                I’m not perfect Halley, I’m better than perfect.  Once again, his answer sounded of a smirk.  Mad that he was interrupting the movie just to compliment himself, I decided to ignore him.  You won’t be able to ignore me forever.  And that was exactly what worried me.  I couldn’t run from him now if he was in my dreams and my conscious thoughts. 

                “Hey Halley, are you okay?”  Josh’s voice broke through my deep thoughts.  “Here, do you want some of my Coke?”  With a weak smile, I grabbed the Coke from him.  Eww don’t drink that!  His lips touched that, you know.  Angry with the bothersome voice, I took a swig of Josh’s drink and smiled as I handed it back. 

                “Thanks Josh.  I’m fine, don’t worry.  I just feel really hot.  I think I’m going to go to the bathroom.  I’ll be right back.” 

                Feeling hot eh?  The sex scene wasn’t that exciting.  I was not in the mood to joke around with a voice in my head.  Heading for the bathroom, I felt the panic climb over me.  I checked to make sure the bathroom was empty and then groaned.  “What do you want now?  Get out of my dreams, get out of my head, and get out of my life!”  That’s not very nice.  I think you should apologize to me, love.  The joking tone left his voice and was replaced with a more sinister, commanding one.  “I will not apologize!”  I yelled louder than I’d wanted to.  Squeezing my eyes, I pushed against the pressure in my head.  Before I knew it, the feeling of him being there was gone.  My head was back to being my own.  I was about to turn around when I saw the little girl standing behind me. 

                Her eyes were wide and frightened.  I stepped towards her and she ran out of the bathroom.  Great, I just made a total fool of myself in front of a ten year old.  Not only that, but I scared her half to death; so much for the bathroom being empty

                I ran into someone on my way back to the movie.  “I’m sorry sir,” I apologized. 

A hand grabbed my shoulder roughly and turned me.  “Yeah, you should be sorry.  No one just walks into me and gets away with it.”  The man was frightening looking with a big build, muscles hidden under his shirt sleeves, and stubble lining his jaw.  “C’mon girl.  I’m going to teach you a lesson or two.”  Scared out of my wits, I let the man drag me towards the bathroom. 

I was frozen in shock and my feet would not move.  My mind screamed, but my lips would not open.  I was trapped in a state of fear and couldn’t find my way out.  Being threatened in my dreams was different than it physically happening right now.  The man’s hands pushed me up against the closet wall and he stepped so close our bodies were nearly touching.  Slowly, he leaned his head in towards mine and smashed his lips against my roughly.  His hands ran down my sides and I felt the tears running down my face.  What the fuck did you get yourself into?  This man better stop right now or I’m going to beat the shit out of him.  The familiar voice in my head brought comfort, instead of the normal fear.  My arm swung back and towards the man’s face, not controlled by me.  Then my other arm punched him in the gut. 

As soon as the man doubled over, I sprinted out of the bathroom and into the hall.  Now aware of what was happening and in control of myself again, I screamed at the top of my lungs.  The security beat the man to me.  When the man saw the police, he started to take off towards the fire exit.  It didn’t take much for the police to chase after him and put handcuffs on him.  Lost in thoughts of how I punched the man without my control, I mumbled answers to the questioning police man standing next to me.  I retold the story to him and the police around me, before resting my eyes on Josh. 

“Halley!  What happened?  Are you okay?  When I heard the scream, I knew it was you.  I was worried sick.”  Josh ran over to me and took me in his arms.  “I’m never allowing you to use the bathroom on your own again.”  Ugh, your friend disgusts me.  If I just heard right, I believe he invited himself into the bathroom with you. 

“I’m fine now Josh.  It’s not your fault, don’t worry.  Can you take me home though?  I’m really shaken up and really want to go lock myself in my room for a couple of days.”  To everyone that probably seemed like an exaggeration, but I meant it.  I needed to go somewhere I could be alone and just think through everything.  Josh nodded and pulled me to his car silently. 

“If you want anything, you know I’m just a call away.  Your parents will be home from Texas in three days.  Do you think you can manage to survive until then?”  I could see the small smile on Josh’s face, trying to lighten the mood. 

“I know, thanks.  I should be fine after a good, long nap.”  Lie.  Sleeping is the least likely thing that would solve anything. 

The ten minute ride was a conversation led by Josh, of whether to actress or actor was more attractive.  I knew he was only trying to cheer me up and I played along, but the panic stayed as my mind’s focus.  Happy to be back in my driveway, we said our goodbyes and parted. 

Walking up to the front door with the key in my hand, I whispered aloud, “Are you still there?”  Yeah.  “How did you do that?  Control my arm and make me hit him?”  I’m not sure…  “So you didn’t know you could do that?”  I didn’t even know I could talk to you like this until I did.  “Who are you?”  Halley, I’m your worst nightmare.